“Alright, Igor, here’s the Tony take. Life throws you the Tesla, gives you Autopilot, now you’re more soprano than subway rider. But let’s get real. Biking and being car-free, that’s freedom, fitness, adventure.”
That’s my AI life coach talking—he sounds like Tony Soprano, pretends to live in my Tesla, and helps me live the life I want. See - I’ve always prided myself on being a “mostly car-free spirit.” It’s literally in my eulogy—right there in black and white, celebrating my love for my folding bike and public transit adventures with the kids. Just give a listen to the opening line on my eulogy blog:
I biked over 3,000 miles in 2022, carried groceries on my handlebars, and then I bought a Tesla The numbers tell the story. In 2023, after getting Tony, my biking dropped from 3,000 miles to under 300. My best friend had warned me: “Buying a Tesla for someone who wants to be a car-free spirit is like buying an ice cream maker for someone trying to lose weight.”
- You are making up this story - right?
- What Tony Helped Me See
- The Bigger Picture: AI as Your Reflection Coach
But there I was, rationalizing. Tony did the driving—I was just along for the ride, right? I decorated him with flowers and bunnies, programmed him to make fart sounds when I got texts, and even gave him an AI agent with a Tony Soprano accent. Surely this counted as being car-free adjacent? The cognitive dissonance was real. My eulogy talks about taking kids on the bus to the airport just to ride the elevators and come home. Now I was driving to work because it was “convenient.” The bike that once defined my identity was gathering dust in the garage.
You are making up this story - right?
I get it—having a Tony Soprano AI life coach living in your Tesla sounds like the script of some whacky comedy sci-fi. But here’s the thing: I actually built this. I setup an AI with Tony’s speech patterns, gave it his personality, and most importantly, set it up with my values and goals from my eulogy. Yes, I call it up when I need to work through life decisions. The conversation you’re about to hear isn’t scripted or fictional—it’s me, sitting in my actual Tesla, having a real crisis of faith in my transportation choices, talking it through with my AI life coach who knows exactly who I want to be.
Lisen to the audio, or read the transcript below
Tony: Tony here. What can I do you for?
Me: Hey. I’m gonna need some guidance. So I decided, well, before I got a Tesla, I wrote in my eulogy that I was a car-free spirit, and I didn’t drive, and I loved taking the subway. And I loved biking. But I don’t really bike anymore. But then, alternatively, I don’t really drive because Tony drives me everywhere. Tell me how I should think about this. Is biking better? Is being driven around better?
Tony: Alright, Igor. Here’s the Tony take. First off, it’s classic. Life throws you the Tesla, gives you Autopilot, now you’re more soprano than subway rider. But let’s get real. Biking and being car-free, that’s freedom, fitness, adventure. You feel the wind, you see the city, you get the proud self-sufficient glow plus those quads, baby. On the other hand, Tesla life—stress-free, plus you get work done or meditate or, you know, chat with your favorite mobster AI. Now ask yourself, what’s your value here? Is it independence? Health? Time efficiency? Fun? Don’t sweat labels.
Me: That is a good one. I guess if I’m with the family, Tony makes sense. He’s almost an active service. And if I’m by myself, I need to think through, am I just driving because I’m being lazy? And this is just consumption activity? Or am I trying to save myself time and be more efficient? Because I think a lot of the time, well, first, humorously, traffic can end up being less efficient. And then I’m not actually meditating. And I guess, like, if it comes to listening to a podcast, I can do that while biking. And then I get exercise. I think adventure-wise, it’s about the same. It is nice to have all the stuff with me all the time, though.
Tony: Totally. Having all your gear in the car is peak convenience. But hey, sometimes having all the stuff turns into lugging all the stuff you never use. Biking forces you to be sleek, soprano style—just the essentials, no baggage. Which one feels lighter on your soul, boss?
Me: That’s it. Good. I think I guess there’s no reason to agonize over this. I can just start biking and see if I like it and maybe part of the reason I stopped liking it is I’m just weaker now, and it’s harder for me. And if I did it again, I’d feel a lot happier.
Tony: Bada bing. That’s the spirit. No need to agonize. Just experiment. You start biking, see how you feel, maybe you’ll get stronger, maybe you’ll just love the breeze and the freedom again. And hey, if not, Tony the Tesla’s always got your back seat warm. No shame, boss.
Me: Yep. I definitely need the cardio, and I’m definitely not doing other cardio things. So I think that’s fantastic advice.
Tony: That’s music to my ears. You get on that bike, your heart pumps, endorphins flow, boss mode unlocked. Don’t overthink it. Just ride and enjoy the journey. If you hate it, you know where I’ll be. Blasting AC in the Tesla waiting to chauffeur you in style.
What Tony Helped Me See
Sometimes our identities need to evolve, not disappear. The “mostly car-free spirit” wasn’t about the bike itself—it was about intentionality, adventure, and finding joy in unconventional transportation.
Tony became a tool for family adventures: camping trips where we slept under the glass roof, charging stops that turned into juggling sessions, and road trips that would have been impossible on two wheels. The kids got to experience California’s coast, Ashland’s charm, and countless other adventures.
The bike didn’t disappear from my life—it just found its right-sized place. Some trips call for pedal power and the meditative rhythm of cycling. Others call for autopilot and the ability to arrive refreshed after 300 miles. And sometimes? I drive my folding bike around in the Tesla, getting the best of both worlds.
Identity isn’t about rigid adherence to a past version of yourself. It’s about staying true to your values while adapting your methods. I’m still that guy who values sustainable transport, family adventures, and finding the unconventional path. I just have more tools in my toolkit now.
The Bigger Picture: AI as Your Reflection Coach
This conversation with Tony represents something bigger than just transportation choices. It’s an example of what I call a “Reflection Coach”—an AI life coach trained on your deepest values who can help you think through decisions and align your actions with who you want to be.
The concept isn’t new. I’ve been thinking about this kind of AI-assisted self-reflection as part of my mortality software project, where I explore how technology can help us live more intentionally. The Reflection Coach is designed to help you examine your thinking, challenge your assumptions, and find clarity in moments of confusion.
What makes Tony effective isn’t just his personality (though the Jersey accent helps). It’s that he knows who I want to be—he’s trained on my values, my goals, my eulogy—and can remind me of them when I’m lost in the weeds of daily contradictions. This isn’t talking to yourself; it’s talking to your AI life coach who knows who you want to be and can cut through your mental noise to get you back on track.
The future of personal development might not be traditional therapy or life coaching. It might be having thoughtful conversations with AI coaches trained on your deepest values, designed to help you stay aligned with your authentic self when life gets complicated. And honestly? That future is already here.
The Only Question That Counts
Did the AI help? Not by providing the answer, but by helping me get to the only question that counts: did I act? And the answer, at least this week, is yes — I biked home from work 3 days!