Week 634AZ - That was ackward, back on the paddeboard

Sir, you need to wear a shirt, said the clerk at the ice cream store. Wait, let me back up.

Three hours earlier, I was excited to mix some of my favorite activities, hauling things on my bike, and paddle boarding. As I was strapping down the gear, I wondered if someone would steal my fancy battery powered pump, as I was thinking this through, Amelia came up and said I want to go paddling. There isn’t enough room for Amelia and the Paddle board on my bike, so we jumped in the car.

Even though Amelia is an adventurer, this was her first paddling trip since before Covid, and I wanted to make sure it was perfect. And it was, we had a glorious time: the arboretum is beautiful, it was hot, but not too hot, and we saw some beautiful herons. I really didn’t want to flip Amelia, so I stayed kneeling the whole time, and as we came back to shore, I planned to tell Amelia to wait on the shore while I went back out for a few minutes to Paddle standing up.

As the shore came into view, sitting on the bench was a 30ish year old man, who was wearing a blue Cat in the Hat shirt. This can’t be my shirt I thought, but then I saw it was over his own shirt, and I was sure it was my blue Cat in the Hat shirt. As I pondered if I was going to write my clothes off, a 70 old woman was walking by and the man stopped her, and they seemed to be have some nice small talk among strangers. Scanning the scene in amazement, I noticed my Trader Joes bag between his feet, which contained a laptop (his, not mine). I waited patiently for the old woman to disengage and walk away, and I hollered:

• Igor: Excuse me, I think you’re wearing my clothes.
• Person: Oh no, I just assumed someone left the bag here and it was for me.
• Igor: No, those are my clothes, so I can change when I get back to shore.
• Person: (Slightly embarrassed) What should I do?
• Igor: You should take them off, and put them back in the bag.
• Person: But, I put other things in the bag.
• Igor: That’s Ok. You should take those out, and leave my stuff.
• Person: Oh, I drank from the water bottle.
• Igor: That’s OK, just leave it.
• Person: Oh, that’s not right, I’ll empty it for you.
• Igor: Thank you.
• Person: (Puts my stuff away, slightly emberassed, but not ackward, walking away) sorry again, I didn’t know.
• Igor: That’s fine, have a great day sir.
• Person: (Rather insulted) I’m not a sir, I’m not a lady, I’m not decided.
• Igor: That’s fine, have a great a day.
• Amelia: (Who is beside me, says quietly), Uh. that was awkward.

Making sure we didn’t leave our paddle board adventure on a sour note, I decided to treat Amelia to ice cream. When we arrived at the shop, I was slightly torn as I was shirtless, but wasn’t going to wear the shirt that strange man was wearing, so went into the store shirtless.

“Sir, you need to wear a shirt”, said the clerk. Not wanting to tell the long tale I said “I’m sorry, I fell and my shirt is soaking wet, you don’t want me tracking water in here”. This made my daughter really sad, and it would really make my day if we could just buy our ice cream, I’ll wear a shirt next time.

Have a great year and remember:If someone decides to take your shirt, don’t fret, just get some desert - ZiaT