Week 731AZ - Amelia turns double digits

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Give me a hug you turned double digits! And a great hug I got. I had some great conversations with Amelia this week and I’ll record them as they make me happy. I also got in some other stuff I love, which I’ll also record for myself. Lastly I’ll remind myself something a very wise friend told me. You can’t pick when your kids want to hang out with you. The best you can do is be around, so that if the mood strikes them, they do! And here were several examples where I was around, and the mood did strike

Amelia is an amazing young lady. She’s articulate, emotionally intelligent (she wants to be a therapist), fiercely brave and independent, a great swimmer and bike rider.

When swimming she can do laps with me, and she loves riding her bike.

Let me tell you about her bike riding, creativity, and grit:

Amelia is supposed to do Math Agency (an afterschool math tutoring program over zoom that starts at 4:30, and ends at 5:30). She knows I’m a big believer in biking so at 4:00 she tells me dad I’m gonna go for a bike ride. Great I say! But, then when it’s time for Math Agency to start, there’s no Amelia to be found. She gets home at 5, I scold her, and make her go to the end of Math agency. She is not thrilled.

The next day, Tuesday, it’s math Agency again, and I’m not home. At 4:30 I call Zach to ask him to get Amelia to Math Agency, but turns out she’s not home. Tuesday it’s pouring rain, but turns out, it was a perfect day for a bike ride, and off she went. Fool her once shame on me, fool her twice shame on her, so this time she didn’t come home till 6 making sure she could totally skip math.

Wednesday she got her own phone so we could know where the heck she was.

Amelia became very articulate when I wasn’t paying attention.

Here’s a text exchange in our family channel. She’s so much clearer than me.

  • Tori: Zach went to either George or Henry’s house. The school called me. I had told them Henry, but they say Zach said George, so….
  • Amelia: I’m pretty sure it’s George, he made sure I had my phone and I think George was with him, plus I’m pretty sure he also said so? But I’m not as sure about that.

On our way home from getting her a birthday cake:

  • Igor: Amelia what can I do to be a better dad.
  • … silence …
  • Amelia: Hmm, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t do it anyway, so no point asking.
  • Igor: Hmm, well try me.
  • Amelia: OK, well the first thing is Math Agency, I know I have to do math, but can I just do Khan Academy instead of going. I’ll just do the math, I don’t like coaches and stuff.
  • Igor: OK, well we’ll figure that out (and I will - as an actual math Agency coach, I’m well aware of how the program works)
  • Igor: OK, what else.
  • … silence …
  • Amelia: OK, this is going to sound bad, so you need to not listen.
  • … silence …
  • Amelia: OK, so, you need to stop asking to hang out with me
  • … silence …
  • Amelia: I know it sounds bad, but it’s like, I’m just tired after school. Sometimes I have a bad day, and sometimes I just want to hang out by myself. And the weekends are short. I just want to enjoy them by myself.
  • Amelia: Don’t feel bad.
  • Igor: OK, well we still need to figure something out cuz, I love having out with you.

On Affinity groups:

  • Igor: Hey Amelia, I heard they got gay/lebian affinity groups at school.
  • Amelia: Oh, I’m not joining that.
  • Igor: Oh why not (Amelia has been a proud lesbian for a while)
  • Amelia: Oh, well people don’t really know what they are interested in, and there’s no point in pushing people in when they’re undecided.
  • Igor: Wow. That makes sense.
  • (I resisted asking about if she had a crush on anyone, boy or girl).

This post is pretty long, so a few other fun things I did this weekend:

  1. Rode Zach on my bike to the twins house The twin girls are the children of a cool family that sort of adopted Zach. They even had a birthday party for him (which we haven’t). I was telling Zach, if I die I’ll bequeath him to them. Zach was like, won’t I go to Mom? I’m like yeah, you’re probably right.
  2. Rode my bike ‘.’ for the first time in forever. I used to park my bike in front of the house. This way I had to see it every day and was guilted into riding it. A few months ago, I had to move the bike into the backyard so Tori could bring in some sheet rock, and as they say out of sight out of mind. Luckily, I summoned the willpower to bring it out, and had all the tools to fix up the damage from it wintering in the backyard unloved.
  3. Went Kayaking Another out of sight out of mind trick. Since I got the Tesla I haven’t Kayaked once (Crazy!), given we had perfect weather I prioritized and got out on the water.
  4. Zach signed up for crew (rowing)! Possibly related to the twins doing crew (possibly not), Zach will be doing crew lessons this summer.
  5. Made a lot of balloon dogs: I’m not sure I mentioned, but I gave up trying to carry a giant balloon pump in my pocket, and trying to do complex balloons. Instead I have a small pump that takes like 20 pumps to blow up a balloon, and make a 10 second balloon dog. So far, every kid I’ve done it for has been thrilled.
  6. I really enjoy toe spreaders: I’m not sure I mentioned, but I really like wearing toe spreaders

Have a great week, and remember what Dr. GPT likes to say:

  • A hug so snug for turning ten, what a sight!
  • With arms wrapped tight, it felt just right.
  • This week with Amelia, oh what chatter,

  • Conversations grand, on things that matter!

  • I’ll jot them down, each laugh and quip,
  • In my heart, those moments I’ll grip.
  • Other joys too, I’ll note them all,

  • In my journal, each big and small.

  • A wise friend once whispered in my ear,
  • A secret I hold incredibly dear:
  • “You can’t choose when kids will want to play,

  • Just be there, come what may.”

  • And so I stayed, just hanging around,
  • And oh, the moments of joy I found!
  • When the mood struck, there we’d be,
  • In each other’s company, so free.