Double Trouble: From Lust to Love to Lost

book-notes

There are two types of couples in the world. Those who fight, and those you don’t know.

Act With Love

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Act With Love

Not in a great relationship. There are a few choices

1. Divorce - Sounds good, but excellent chance you’ll end up in the same spot in your next relationship.
1. Stay - Two Choices
  - 2.a Stay and suffer in silence.
  - 2.b Try to make it better. Two Outcomes
    - 2.b.1 - Your partner reciprocates, your relationship improves.
    - 2.b.2 - Your partner doesn’t, you get a divorce, but now you’ll have many more useful skills.

Drain

The things that are killing your relationship:

D - Distance, being apart, physically and emotionally.
R - Reactivity. Really, being triggered.
A - Avoidance. Trying not to think about it, often through escape.
I - Inside your head. Really ruminating on what is wrong, what was wasted, etc.
N - Not living your values. N.1) Being a doormat/Being in a Lose/Win. N.2) Not being the partner you know you can be.

Transitions

A common challenge in relationships is when a woman goes back to work when the kids are grown up.

Love is a Verb, Not a Noun

Love is not an emotion/noun; it’s a verb, a verb meaning act of service.

Love Languages

The way you want to be loved. Annoyingly, excellent chance your love language doesn’t match your partner’s. Even worse, you’ll be confused because you think you’re doing things that are worth a lot in your love language, but worthless in theirs. Ugh.

H - Hugs! Physical Touch.
E - Terms of Endearment. Saying I love you, leaving notes of affirmation of their importance.
A - Acts of Service. Take out the recycling, do the dishes.
R - Receiving Gifts. It’s not the size/price that matters; it’s the thought. Classics: flowers and chocolates.
T - Quality Time together.

(My love languages are physical touch and quality time.) layout: post title: “Double Trouble: From Lust to Love to Lost” inprogress: true comments: true permalink: /partner-trouble redirect_from:

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There are two types of couples in the world. Those who fight, and those you don’t know.

Act With Love

View on Amazon

Act With Love

Not in a great - relationship. There are a few choices

1. Divorce - Sounds good, but excellent chance you’ll end up in the same spot in your next relationship.
1. Stay - Two Choices
  - 2.a Stay and Suffer in silence.
  - 2.b Try to make it better. Too Outcomes
    - 2.b.1 - Your partner reciprocates, your relationship improves
    - 2.b.2 - Your partner doesn’t, you get a divorce, but now you’ll have many more useful skills.

Drain

The things that are killing your relationship

D - Distance, being apart, physically and emotionally.
R - Reactivity. Really, being triggered
A - Avoidance. Trying not to think about it, often through escape.
I - Inside your head. Really ruminating on what is wrong, what was wasted, etc.
N - Not living your values. N.1) Being a door mat/Being in a Lose/Win. N.2) Not being the partner you know you can be.

Transitions

A common challenge in relationship is when a woman goes back to work when the kids are grown up.

Love is a Verb, Not a Noun

Love is not an emotion/noun, it’s a verb, a verb meaning act of service.

Love Langauges

The way you want to be loved. Annoyingly, excellent chance your love language doesn’t match your partners. Even worse, you’ll be confused beacause you think you’re doing things that are worht a lot in yoru love langauge, but worthless in theirs. Ugh.

H - Hugs! Physical Touch
E - Terms of Endearment. Saying I love, you leave notes of affirmation of their importance
A - Acts of Service. Take out the recycling, do the dishes.
R - Receiving Gifts. It’s not the size/price that matters it’s the thought. Classics flowers and chocolates
T - Quality Time together

(My love languages are physical touch and quality time)