Chasing Daylight: Imagine you're gonna die in less then 100 days

Monday morning: You’re Eugene O’Kelly, CEO of KPMG, reviewing next quarter’s strategy. Your calendar is packed with board meetings, your daughter’s college visits are scheduled for fall, and you’re planning that anniversary trip for next summer. Tuesday afternoon: You’re sitting in a doctor’s office, trying to process the words “terminal brain cancer” and “three months to live.” In an instant, your calendar becomes meaningless - all those carefully planned years collapse into a countdown of just 100 days. This was O’Kelly’s reality, and his response was remarkable: he chose to approach his death with the same clarity and purpose that had marked his life. This is what I learned from his story.

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• The Gift of Awareness
• Core Lessons
  • Accept Reality
  • Create Perfect Moments
  • Practice “Unwinding”
• Chasing Daylight and the Pursuit of Happiness
• Key Takeaways

The Gift of Awareness

O’Kelly opens with a profound realization - he was “blessed” with a conscious death. Unlike many who go suddenly or suffer prolonged decline, he had:

• Full mental clarity
• Physical ability to act
• Time to say goodbye
• Opportunity to choose his final chapter

This awareness became his final gift, allowing him to craft meaningful endings to a lifetime of relationships.

Core Lessons

Accept Reality

The first and hardest step is accepting the inevitable:

• No bargaining or denial
• Clear-eyed assessment of the situation
• Redirecting energy from “why me?” to “what now?”
• Using acceptance as a foundation for action

Create Perfect Moments

Rather than counting down days, O’Kelly focused on creating what he called “perfect moments” - intentionally crafted experiences of deep connection and presence. These weren’t grand gestures or bucket list items, but rather intimate moments of genuine connection:

• Fully Present: Turning off phones, clearing the mind of distractions, and being completely there
• Natural Flow: Not forcing or over-planning, but allowing genuine connection to emerge
• Mutual Experience: Both parties fully engaged and aware of the moment’s significance
• Time Dissolves: Minutes could feel like hours, or hours like minutes
• Lasting Impact: Creating memories that would sustain both him and his loved ones

For O’Kelly, perfect moments included simple experiences like:

• A quiet morning coffee with his wife
• Watching the sunset with his daughter
• A final lunch with a longtime colleague
• Walking through Central Park, fully aware of each step

Practice “Unwinding”

While perfect moments were about presence and connection, “unwinding” was O’Kelly’s methodical approach to closing relationships with intention and care. He approached this process with the same strategic mindset that made him successful in business:

The Process:

• Mapping all relationships into concentric circles of closeness
• Prioritizing the sequence of goodbyes
• Planning appropriate settings for final meetings
• Preparing emotionally for each encounter
• Following through with clear closure

Key Principles:

• No loose ends or unfinished business
• Helping others find their own closure
• Making each goodbye appropriate to the relationship
• Creating space for both celebration and grief
• Ensuring no important words were left unsaid

The difference was crucial: Perfect moments were about being fully present in time, while unwinding was about bringing relationships to meaningful conclusions. Together, they formed his framework for conscious dying.

Chasing Daylight and the Pursuit of Happiness

O’Kelly’s journey powerfully illustrates the pursuit of happiness. When faced with limited time, his priorities crystallized around what truly matters. His experience shows us that happiness isn’t about pleasure or achievements - it’s about finding peace, deepening connections, and living authentically.

His approach focused primarily on two of the three core elements of the pursuit of happiness:

Inner Peace became his foundation. Rather than fighting his diagnosis, he channeled his energy into acceptance and presence. This inner stability gave him the strength to face each day and support those around him. His methodical approach to “unwinding” relationships showed how inner peace could guide even the most difficult transitions.

Compassion flowed naturally from his acceptance. By helping others process his departure and sharing his experience through this book, he transformed his personal journey into a gift for others. His focus shifted entirely to easing the suffering of those he would leave behind.

While traditional Passion took a backseat given his limited energy, it manifested in one key way: mastering the art of conscious dying. He approached his final days with the same methodical excellence he had brought to his business career, creating a framework for saying goodbye that others could learn from.

Key Takeaways

The book’s central message resonates whether you have 100 days or 100 years:

1. Don’t wait to live fully
2. Be intentional with relationships
3. Create perfect moments now
4. Find peace with what is
5. Leave nothing important unsaid

His most powerful advice? Whatever you plan to do before you die, move it up. The perfect moment is now.

Related Posts

On Being Mortal - A broader perspective on mortality:

Your Last Year - Making the most of limited time:

Engineering Meaningful Moments: