Family Journal 718AZ - Zach's take on the Yellow Deli

Over the border, there is a place unlike any other. Nestled between urban Vancouver and the rural wastes beyond, there lies a small, unassuming restaurant. This homely establishment is known simply as “The Yellow Deli”. Beyond the Deli’s quaint and rustic veneer, you will find a religious organization many repute as a cult. Formally known as “The Twelve Tribes of Israel”, they have been known to use tactics commonly associated with cults to both gain and retain followers. Becoming a truly devout follower of The Twelve Tribes is no walk in the park, however, as the majority of virtuous members seemingly live in hippy-esque communes that grow their own food and share everything. Interestingly enough, it seems that, politically, at least, The Twelve Tribes are your run-of-the-mill libertarians. Throughout the The Twelve Tribes’ history, there have been many child abuse allegations levied against them. According to the Tribes, children are but tiny adults and are therefore assigned the same responsibilities of their older peers. Adding to the allegations of “cultiness”, many former followers have denounced The Twelve Tribes after they left the communes.

You can also read Zach’s version of this adventure

Regardless of who’s running the show, The Yellow Deli is incredible. I guess you could describe the food as… heavenly? Am I right or am I right? I digress, but the fact is that every single review I could find of the place touted the sandwiches as “some of the best I’ve ever had” and the drinks as “nirvana on earth”. In regards to the ambiance, the best word I could use to describe it is “cabin”. Wood and fireplaces are abundant, and the décor practically screams cozy woodland home. One of The Yellow Deli’s most surprising qualities is its abundant tea selection. The brewing station is behind a counter and you wouldn’t be blamed for thinking it was a cocktail bar the first time you came in. Their food menu is much smaller but equally satisfying. The Yellow Deli specializes in deli sandwiches, house-made potato chips, and a few soups and sandwiches. If you’re going for the first time, it’s likely best practice to order a sandwich and a drink. Conveniently for American tourists on a budget, the prices at The Yellow Deli, while already extremely affordable, are cheapened further by the relative buying power of the American dollar.

Now that a grasp of The Yellow Deli and its patron organization, The Twelve Tribes, has been given, allow me to regale you with the story of my visit to The Yellow Deli. My father and I left Seattle around 3, arriving at the border around 6. If there’s one thing this trip has taught me, it’s that stereotypes shouldn’t always be believed. In all actuality, the Canadian border guard was much ruder than his American counterpart. Our conversation went a little like this:

“What brings you to the border this evening?”

“We’re heading to The Yellow Deli.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s like a restaurant up in Chilliwack, it’s supposed to be run by a cult or something.”

“Where are you from?”

“Seattle.”

“So you drove 3 hours to go to this ‘Yellow Deli’ place?”

“You clearly haven’t been there.”

“Are you acquiring drugs there?”

In the end, we managed to make it through the border without getting our car searched. Part of that may have been because the sun was already down and no one wanted to search a random dad and his 13 year old son. Did I mention the car was a filthy mess? Regardless, we made it to The Yellow Deli in the end. When I looked it up on Google, The Yellow Deli appeared to be a small hovel, maybe a third the size of your typical gas station convenience store. That couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Firstly, the place was huge. Apparently some kind folks from The Twelve Tribes had renovated an old school house into the Deli. Secondly, the place was packed. It took us a few minutes to get seated, which was unsurprising considering every table was filled at 6:30 on a Wednesday night. Thirdly, the patrons were diverse. If I’m being honest, I expected The Yellow Deli would be filled with sweet old ladies and slightly geriatric old men. Instead, I found families, teenagers, college kids, (granted) old ladies, and what sounded like a PTA meeting. The walls were as brimming with life as the fireplace was with, well, fire. “Fourthly” sounds a little silly, so I’ll end this list here. Suffice it to say, The Yellow Deli is definitely something you need to see to believe.

The first (well, actually fourth if you count the stuff above) thing I noticed when I entered was The Twelve Tribes’ promotional pamphlets. They were given away for free so, naturally, I filled my pockets with them. By the end of the night I had everything from a pocket sized menu to a little booklet intitled “What’s coming next?” with a picture of fire on it. For someone who hadn’t eaten since before the three and a half hour car ride, the highlight of the event was definitely the food. We got a “Matte Latte”, a Peach Matte tea, a Reuben sandwich, and a classic Deli Rose. The drinks were excellent, although I forgot to add the lemon to the Peach Matte tea and thereby made it rather sweet. I liked both of the sandwiches, they were good, old-fashioned favorites. I could’ve whipped something just as good up at home but maybe all that says is that I’m a good cook. My father, wasn’t a big fan of the deli rose. On the other hand, he absolutely adored the Reuben, so do with that what you will. My only complaint was that the potato chips which came with the sandwiches were a little soggy from the leaking sauce. I don’t know how to fix that problem but I do know it was so close to a perfect meal.

The worst part of the trip was totally our own fault: we forgot it was Wednesday. You see, at 8 PM every Wednesday, the Twelve Tribes put on a little recruiting event, “Nostradamus by Night”. We were actively discussing it while we ate, saying things like, “We should come back on Wednesday to catch it.” We left at 7:30. It was only at 9 when it was already over and we were firmly across the border that we realized our mistake. The rest of the trip was uneventful, thankfully, but we had finally visited the greatest deli west of Vermont.

Final Score: 8/10

Overall, the food was great and the service impeccable. However, for the six hours it took to get there and back, it can be a tough sell. Personally, I think the trip is a great idea for aspiring couples and close friends: If you can’t survive 6 hours alone in a car with someone, with only a small break to eat, you shouldn’t get married. Or stay friends, I guess.

END