We’ve all got stuff we’re good at, and stuff we’re bad at. We can combine these in ways that make the system greater then the sum of its parts.
These are my insights based on the 7 habits Chapter 6.
- What Makes Synergy Possible
- Examples of Synergy in Action
- In the Classroom
- In Business
- In Communication
- Finding that Third Alternative
- Negative Synergy
- Valuing the Differences
- Force Field Analysis
- Books
What Makes Synergy Possible
- Complementary Strengths: When people with different skills collaborate, they cover each other’s weaknesses while amplifying strengths
- Diverse Perspectives: Multiple viewpoints lead to more creative solutions than any individual could develop alone
- Collaborative Energy: The interaction between people often generates new ideas and enthusiasm that wouldn’t exist in isolation
- Emergent Properties: Systems working together often develop capabilities that none of the individual components possess
Examples of Synergy in Action
In Teams and Workplace
- A developer’s technical skills combined with a designer’s aesthetic sense creates a product better than either could make independently
- Product development teams that combine engineering, design, and marketing perspectives create innovative solutions
- Leadership teams that balance visionaries with practical implementers execute more effectively
In Relationships and Family
- Partners who balance each other’s traits (one organized, one spontaneous) create a more adaptable partnership
- Families that combine different generational perspectives solve problems more creatively
- Friends with complementary personalities often create more memorable experiences together
In the Classroom
- Group projects where students with different learning styles complement each other
- Peer teaching where explaining concepts helps both the teacher and learner
- Classroom discussions that build collective understanding beyond individual insights
In Business
- Strategic alliances that combine complementary strengths of different organizations
- Matrix organizations that maintain both functional expertise and project focus
- Customer co-creation that incorporates user feedback throughout development
In Communication
- Dialogue that values both advocacy and inquiry leads to deeper understanding
- Combining verbal, visual, and experiential communication creates more complete understanding
- Multi-directional feedback systems that capture insights from all levels of an organization
Finding that Third Alternative
The third alternative is at the heart of synergistic thinking. It’s not my way, not your way, but a better way that neither of us could have discovered alone.
Covey explains that most people see only two alternatives when faced with disagreement: “my way” or “your way.” This either/or thinking limits possibilities. The third alternative transcends this dichotomy by creating something new and better.
The process requires:
- Defining the problem or opportunity, not as competing positions but as a shared challenge
- Seeking first to understand the other person’s needs and concerns deeply
- Expressing your own views with equal courage and consideration
- Creating together without attachment to preconceived solutions
The third alternative isn’t compromise where both sides give up something. Instead, it’s a creative breakthrough where both sides get more of what they truly want by reframing the problem.
Covey shares examples like business negotiations where competitors become partners, or family conflicts where new solutions emerge that honor everyone’s needs. The key is shifting from “either/or” to “and” thinking.
How the Third Alternative Differs from Think Win-Win
People often confuse Synergy (Habit 6) with Think Win-Win (Habit 4), but they’re distinct concepts that build upon each other:
Think Win-Win (Habit 4) is about:
- An attitude or mindset of mutual benefit
- The intention to find solutions where all parties benefit
- A character-based approach to negotiation
- Setting up agreements where everyone’s needs are addressed
Synergy and the Third Alternative go beyond this by:
- Being the creative process that produces win-win solutions
- Requiring active collaboration rather than just agreement
- Creating solutions that are better than anyone initially imagined
- Producing unexpected breakthroughs through the creative tension of differences
In practice, typical Win-Win Solutions involve:
- Finding a middle ground between competing positions
- Negotiating to ensure both parties get something they want
- Trading concessions (“I’ll give you X if you give me Y”)
- Splitting the difference or finding a compromise
The Third Alternative is fundamentally different because it:
- Transcends the original positions entirely
- Creates a new solution no one initially considered
- Doesn’t require either party to give up what’s truly important
- Often makes the original positions irrelevant
Examples of Win-Win vs. Third Alternative Solutions
Business Context
Win-Win Approach:
- Two departments fighting over budget might agree to split the difference
- Marketing and sales teams might compromise on messaging that partially satisfies both
- Different business units might negotiate territory boundaries that everyone can accept
Third Alternative Approach:
- Departments might create a joint initiative that generates new funding neither had access to before
- Teams might develop an integrated approach that achieves both marketing’s brand goals and sales’ conversion targets
- Business units might create a collaborative model that expands the total market rather than dividing existing territory
Personal Relationships
Win-Win Approach:
- A couple might alternate choosing vacation destinations each year
- Friends with different interests might take turns choosing activities
- Roommates might create a chore schedule that divides responsibilities fairly
Third Alternative Approach:
- A couple might discover an entirely new type of vacation that satisfies both adventure and relaxation needs simultaneously
- Friends might find activities that combine elements of both their interests in unexpected ways
- Roommates might redesign their living space and routines to minimize the need for chores altogether
Workplace Collaboration
Win-Win Approach:
- Team members might compromise on a project approach that partially satisfies everyone
- Different departments might negotiate resource allocation that seems fair to all
- Colleagues might trade off who leads different initiatives
Third Alternative Approach:
- The team might develop an innovative approach incorporating the best elements of everyone’s ideas
- Departments might create a new resource-sharing model that increases overall capacity
- Colleagues might develop a collaborative leadership structure that leverages everyone’s strengths simultaneously
Family Decisions
Win-Win Approach:
- Parents and teenagers might negotiate screen time limits that both can tolerate
- Siblings might take turns using shared resources or spaces
- Family members might compromise on vacation activities to ensure everyone gets something they want
Third Alternative Approach:
- The family might create a technology plan that enhances connection while addressing concerns about balance
- Siblings might transform shared spaces into zones that serve multiple purposes simultaneously
- The family might discover new activities that engage everyone’s interests in unexpected ways
The Third Alternative isn’t about meeting in the middle—it’s about moving to a higher level where the original problem is reframed and transformed.
For more on how I apply these principles in negotiations, see my notes on Getting to yes, which incorporates third alternative thinking into reaching agreements that satisfy everyone’s core needs.
Negative Synergy
- Groupthink: When the desire for harmony or conformity results in irrational decision-making
- Defensive Communication: When people feel threatened and focus on protecting themselves rather than solving problems
- Personality Conflicts: When differences become sources of tension rather than creative opportunities
- Power Struggles: When winning the argument becomes more important than finding the best solution
Valuing the Differences
- Mental: Appreciating different ways of thinking and problem-solving approaches
- Emotional: Respecting varying emotional responses and how they inform perspectives
- Psychological: Understanding different personality types and their unique contributions
- Interdependence: Recognizing that our differences create the very opportunity for synergy
Force Field Analysis
- Identifying Driving Forces: Recognizing factors that push toward desired change
- Identifying Restraining Forces: Understanding factors that maintain the status quo
- Strengthening Positive Forces: Amplifying factors that support the desired outcome
- Weakening Restraining Forces: Addressing and reducing barriers to change
Books
View on Amazon |
For deeper exploration of synergy and the third alternative, I recommend Stephen Covey’s “The 3rd Alternative,” which expands on these concepts with practical applications for finding breakthrough solutions in both personal and professional contexts.