What I wish I knew at 42

You survived young kids, marriage, house, some easy crises, and now it’s time for remember , a healthy woman has a thousand wishes, a sick woman - just one: Things i wish I knew at 42

The 40s in Context

Your 40s are a pivotal chapter in life’s journey. After spending your 20s trying everything and your 30s eliminating what you don’t like, you’ve finally discovered what truly matters to you. You have time and money, but health requires more attention. This is the decade to focus intensely on what you love, while being mindful of your changing physical capabilities.

For a broader perspective on how the 40s fit into life’s chapters:

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Good news

  • Your wisdom is way up.
  • You are doing better accepting reality.
  • You’re acquiring financial security
  • You know you, and you’re good with it.

Bad news

  • You’re per-domain peak is done.
  • Your health is starting to decline, and without active investment will fall sharply

Pondering Retirement

The concept of retirement has evolved significantly. It’s less about stopping work entirely and more about achieving financial independence - having the freedom to choose how you spend your time without financial constraints.

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Some lies about retirement

Common misconceptions about retirement that I’ve observed and researched:

  • “Work” is preventing you from doing the things you love
    • Reality: Work provides structure, purpose, and social connections
  • You can self-motivate yourself easily
    • Reality: External structure and accountability matter more than we think
  • You won’t experience a decline in social interaction
    • Reality: Work provides significant social connections that need active replacement
  • You automatically have enough meaning and structure
    • Reality: These need intentional planning and cultivation
  • Retirement means stopping completely
    • Reality: Modern retirement is about flexibility and choice, not complete cessation
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Who this talk is for

Unlike the other talks, this one I’m writing when I’m 45, so it’s pretty relevant to me in real time. Hopefully others will find it helpful as well.

Balance

Health -

All those financial models from your 20s thinking about paying debt and saving for retirement, that all applies to your health.

  • Non-disposable income health - You need health to do basic things like walking around, getting out of bed, and opening cans.
  • Your income health generating ability declines, and you need large savings to draw from

  • Sometimes you don’t enjoy building income health, but you need to do it anyways

  • The health debt you likely took on in your 30s need to be paid back otherwise you’ll degrade quickly.
  • Your body is no longer forgiving of incorrect movements, and healing is much harder.
    • Remember that your body is now at 75%. Marathons and deadlifts need to take a back seat to low-impact routines.
    • Find a way to exercise that works for you,

  • Get your colon checked. Those polyps sprout up in your 40’s and they want to kill you.

  • Eat mostly fruits and vegetables, and try not to eat too much.
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Themes

Optimizing vs Satisfying

Decline - the self-fulfilling prophecy

Some ideas from Ammon

  • Money isn’t everything. Try to get enough money, then turn your focus to other pursuits. While you’re getting enough money, don’t forget everything else.
  • Of all the skills you can develop, kindness and compassion are the most important. Try as hard as you can to keep this in mind when interacting with your parents, your partners, your children, your coworkers, and strangers.

more ideas

  • Prepare for the day when your employer casts you aside in favor of someone younger who has eagerly drank the kool aid and will work cheap.
  • Don’t think about the past unless it’s a happy memory. Don’t re-examine negative outcomes through the arallax view of the present.
  • This is your peak earnings, and peak productivity. You’ve got maximum experience and minimal mental decline.
  • As you get older, you will decline, the work you do in your 40s will be the starting point for your decline, and simultaneously impact your rate of decline.
  • If you always wanted a motorcycle or boat or tattoo or Corvette or whatever, now is the time to buy such things if you’re able. Don’t be upset if you can’t afford such things as vou’ve made it