The chapters of our lives
book-notesOur lives are stories, containing many different chapters. However, regardless of what is in the chapters, we all go through life stages, being young, growing up, getting old, etc. What you need as a 22-year-old, and what you need as a 42-year-old sure are different. I think our lives are both chapters in terms of the plot, but also in terms of the stages of life.
The western model
20s - Try everything you can
And my advice to folks in their 20s - Which I gave as a talk for the Amazon Interns
30s - Avoid what you don’t like
I’m working on this talk, give me content!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11bI6nV3tOxZzRlN6L8-RPx4m1_SXoaVGalmoZdlZBGI/edit#
40s - Focus on what you do like
50s - Don’t know yet
60s - Don’t know yet
What I wish I knew when my kids were new
Read the prophet on children:
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
were new
- Take a chill pill
- The days are long but the years fly by
- This is what it’s all about
were two
- To you, your kids will be dismissive and disrespectful. To see your influence, go watch them describe you to their friends. You’ll often be on a pedestal.
- Do don’t tell. They can tell when you do stuff. They are watching you.
were thirteen point two.
- They are human, your best bet is treat them like adults.
were adults
Other Concepts
The Hindu Ashrama
Hindu’s have these kinds of ideas well codified in the vedics.
Their progression is student, householder, forest dweller and renoucned life. From Wikipedia
| Āśrama or stage | Age (years)[10] | Description | Rituals of transition |
|---|---|---|---|
| Student | Birth–25 | Brahmacharya represented the bachelor student stage of life. This stage focuses on education and included the practice of celibacy.[2] The student went to a Gurukul (family/clan of the guru) and typically would live with a Guru (mentor), acquiring knowledge of science, philosophy, scriptures and logic, practicing self-discipline, working to earn dakshina to be paid for the guru, learning to live a life of Dharma (righteousness, morals, duties). | Upanayana at entry.[11][12] Samavartana at exit.[13] |
| House Holder | 25–50 | This stage referred to the individual’s married life, with the duties of maintaining a household, raising a family, educating one’s children, and leading a family-centred and a dharmic social life.[2][14][15] Grihastha stage was considered as the most important of all stages in sociological context, as human beings in this stage not only pursued a virtuous life, they produced food and wealth that sustained people in other stages of life, as well as the offsprings that continued mankind.[2][4] The stage also represented one where the most intense physical, sexual, emotional, occupational, social and material attachments exist in a human being’s life.[16] | Hindu wedding at entry. |
| Retired/ Forrest Dweller | 50–75 | The retirement stage, where a person handed over household responsibilities to the next generation, took an advisory role, and gradually withdrew from the world.[17][18] Vanaprastha stage was a transition phase from a householder’s life with its greater emphasis on Artha and Kama (wealth, security, pleasure and desires) to one with greater emphasis on Moksha (spiritual liberation).[17][19] | |
| Ascetic / Renounced Life | 75+ (or anytime) | The stage was marked by renunciation of material desires and prejudices, represented by a state of disinterest and detachment from material life, generally without any meaningful property or home (ascetic), and focused on moksha, peace and simple spiritual life.[20][21] Anyone could enter this stage after completing the Brahmacharya stage of life.[1] |
Don Juan’s Four Enemies
In Don Juan’s Philosophy the stages are: Fear, Arrogance, Authority and Old Age.
Coming of age ceremonies
- Bar Mitzvah’s
- Marriage
- Graduations