Escape Artists: The True Face of Addiction

how igor ticks

Addiction is not about drugs or alcohol - it is about escape. Quoting “Do the Work”: When we can’t stand the fear, the shame, and the self-reproach that we feel, we obliterate it with an addiction. The addiction becomes the shadow version, the evil twin of our calling to service or to art. That’s why addicts are so interesting and so boring at the same time. They’re interesting because they’re called to something — something new, something unique, something that we, watching, can’t wait to see them bring forth into manifestation. At the same time, they’re boring because they never do the work. The addiction becomes his purpose, his novel, his adventure, his great love. The work of art or service that might have been produced is replaced by the drama, conflict, and suffering of the addict’s crazy, haunted, shattered life.

Is doing the thing you want to be doing an addiction?

Here’s a framework I’ve been working through: there’s both addiction and there’s opportunity cost, and they’re different things.

Addiction: You DON’T want to do the thing you’re doing, but you feel compelled to inside. The rest of your life is suffering as a result.

Opportunity cost: You DO want to do it, and the rest of your life is suffering because you’re choosing this over other things.

The key difference is compulsion versus choice. With addiction, you’re running from something - escaping thoughts, avoiding feelings, numbing pain. With opportunity cost, you’re running toward something you genuinely value, but you’re paying a price in other areas of your life.

The logical approach

Once you identify which one you’re dealing with, you can respond appropriately:

  • If it’s addiction: The work is to address the underlying thing you’re avoiding. What are you escaping from? What pain or fear are you numbing?
  • If it’s opportunity cost: Weigh the costs logically. Is what you’re gaining worth what you’re losing? Are you making a conscious trade-off or just drifting into an imbalanced life?

Examples from my life

The clearest distinction for me is TikTok vs Vibe Coding.

TikTok = Addiction

I don’t actually want to scroll TikTok. I’m not excited about watching strangers do kettlebell lifts or give retirement advice. But when I have a moment of quiet, or finish one thing before starting the next, I feel compelled to scroll. I’m escaping my thoughts - avoiding the discomfort of being present with my internal experience. I can’t stand NOT scrolling in those moments. That’s addiction: running from something, not toward something.

Vibe Coding = Opportunity Cost

When I’m in flow writing code, building something, solving a problem - I genuinely want to be doing it. I love it. I’m not escaping anything; I’m engaged in something meaningful. But the rest of my life suffers - I miss family time, skip workouts, stay up too late. That’s opportunity cost: I’m choosing this over other things, and I need to weigh whether the trade-off is worth it.

The test is simple: If I had to stop right now, which one would feel like relief and which would feel like loss? TikTok would be relief. Vibe coding would be loss.

The question to ask: Am I doing this because I genuinely want to, or because I can’t stand NOT doing it?

Current Addictions

TikTok (Thought Escape)

I recently became aware of something subtle: my urge to scroll TikTok isn’t about getting dopamine hits from entertaining content. It’s about escaping my thoughts.

When I sit down and have a moment of quiet, or when I finish one thing and before I start the next, there’s this pull to open TikTok. Not because I want to watch content, but because I don’t want to sit with whatever’s on my mind. The scrolling gives me something external to focus on so I don’t have to be present with my internal experience.

This is textbook addiction as escape. I’m not seeking pleasure - I’m avoiding discomfort. The thing I’m escaping from isn’t even necessarily bad thoughts or painful feelings. Sometimes it’s just… thoughts. The act of having an inner mental life feels uncomfortable, so I scroll.

Hypo Addictions

Social Media Analytics

Hard to help myself, when I post something on LinkedIn, I have to check and check and check. Same goes for YouTube, and LinkedIn, and Google Analytics. There’s some celebration that should be had, but it should be minor.

LinkedIn friend count

There’s a proxy from LinkedIn friend count to hiring, but checking your friend count frequently just doesn’t help.

Stock market price

The silly things I have watched on Vertical Short Form (TikTok, Reels, Shorts)

VSF is the worst because it has such low starting energy, and such high stopping energy. Here are some of the silly things i’ve gotten sucked into

Lifting Videos

I do a fair bit of kettlebells, I got lots of people doing lifts, first it was educational and inspirational, and then I started getting pretty women, pretty easy to understand - inspirational. But then I started getting senior citizens, doing their 80 year old PRs. Very odd.

Lifting Videos - Antonly

This guy that is small and super ripped who dresses up like a custodian then surprises everyone by how good he is.

Retirement Videos

Like Advice from retired people

People who are retired telling their stories - I like some of these

Financial Advice

When can you retire, you have too much, you have too little, you should pay attention to retired mandatory distributions

People living in their cars

I think my favorite is someone says I’m not doing this to enjoy the outdoors, I’m doing this to save money. Hers is like the most authentic.

Truckers

Beaten addictions (for now)

Pokemon Go

I was pretty depressed, and needed an escape from reality. Pokemon Go was great, I could just get out and do it. Then one day at Legoland I realized I just wanted to zone out and play Pokemon Go, and I was like, OK this is crazy and stopped cold turkey.

TikTok (and it’s back)

This platform sucked me in before I realized how much of my time I’d spent sucked in. I quit cold turkey.

But it came back. Turns out my personality pattern - get addicted, beat it, assume it’s gone forever - doesn’t account for the fact that if the underlying need (escaping thoughts) isn’t addressed, the addiction just resurfaces. See Current Addictions for the current bout.

Covid 19 News

I was taking a break from working, and Covid 19 happened, before I knew it I was sucked into the news, I think I learned the word crisis porn, and realized I was wasting slews of my life on things outside of my Circle of Concern, so I let that go. Tough, but totally worth it.

Alcohol

I didn’t really have a hard time stopping this. It’s empty calories, but even worse it messes up my will power and my sleep. Pretty bad.

“Zero proof” drinks

I accidentally discovered these, which really came out of nowhere in the min 2020s? At first I was thrilled, felt so good, but then I pondered, is this just a Pavlovian response where I imagine I’m gonna get a hit of mild euphoria and thus I’m really enjoying it? Turns out, yes, I was waiting for that. After a few days of this I found out that since I don’t get my euphoric hit, I am no longer interested in this.

Thinking about work while at home

This comes and goes depending on how well/poorly work is going. But I used to be really bad at it, and am now much better at it.

Loading (/mind-at-work)

Work Addiction and Success Addiction

Workaholism is one of the trickiest addictions because it looks productive. People praise you for it, you get promoted, you build things. But using the addiction vs opportunity cost framework helps clarify what’s really happening.

Signs it’s addiction (not just hard work):

  • You DON’T want to be working but feel compelled to
  • You’re checking email at 10pm not because you want to, but because you can’t stand the anxiety of not checking
  • You’re thinking about work during family time not because the work is fascinating, but because you’re escaping the discomfort of being present
  • The rest of your life is suffering - relationships, health, hobbies all deteriorating
  • You feel “out of control” - you can’t stop even when you know you should

When it’s opportunity cost (not addiction):

  • You DO want to work on the problem - it’s genuinely interesting
  • You’re making conscious trade-offs about where to spend your time
  • You could stop if you chose to, you’re just choosing not to
  • You’re aware of what you’re sacrificing and weighing whether it’s worth it

The test: Can you stop? If you genuinely can’t stop working even when you want to, even when you know it’s hurting you - that’s addiction. If you can stop but choose not to because the work matters to you more than the alternatives right now - that’s opportunity cost.

Success Addiction

See midlife notes on from strength to strength.

Loading (/midlife)

Success addiction is particularly insidious because it’s culturally rewarded. The classic definition from Arthur Brooks:

  • Success => Having more than others
  • Failure => Having Less

A few problems of course: 1. You change your definition of others 1. It gets hard and harder as you get into midlife

This becomes addiction when you’re not pursuing success because you want it, but because you can’t stand the feeling of “falling behind” or “not measuring up.” You’re running from inadequacy, not toward achievement.

Far better is to define satisfaction as:

  1. What you want / what you have

This shifts the frame from external comparison (addiction fuel) to internal alignment (conscious choice).

Getting Rid of ‘em

My personality is a double-edged sword, I’ve got an addictive personality, and I bore easily. This means I can get addicted quickly, be addicted for a while, and then drop it cold turkey.

Other thoughts on addiction

An alternative definition of addiction is someone who always prioritizes his feelings over his values.

Perhaps, boredom is the pain of lack of connection, and addiction is a great way to stamp that out.

Addiction to flow/production/productivity

Being addicted to flow and production sounds like a perfect hack. After all, isn’t that the goal? Being productive?

Not quite. The addiction vs opportunity cost framework applies here too:

Productive work as addiction:

  • You’re using productivity to escape emotional discomfort
  • You can’t stop working even when you want to
  • You’re “skipping the thing you should be doing” (family time, rest, addressing underlying issues) to stay busy
  • The work feels compulsive, not joyful
  • You’re running from something, not toward something

Productive work as opportunity cost:

  • You genuinely love the flow state and the work itself
  • You’re making conscious trade-offs about time allocation
  • You could stop if you chose to
  • You’re running toward something meaningful, just perhaps at the expense of other things

The key difference: addiction has this element of “out of control” and escape. You’re using the productive work to numb or avoid something else. That’s certainly less destructive than many addictions, but it’s still bad because it prevents you from addressing whatever you’re avoiding.

Other Resources

Do the Work by Steven Pressfield.