Training the sublime states
emotional intelligenceEmotional health is pretty important. Western folks don’t have a lot of words to support this. Luckily, the Buddhists have the sublime states: Loving-kindness, Compassion, Altruistic Joy, and Equanimity. Give ‘em a try. Most of this post is based on “The Joy of Happiness”.
Uplift the mind in seconds
Tools of the trade (Sublime states):
State | Definition |
---|---|
Loving-kindness | Wish someone to be happy |
Compassion | Wish someone to be free of suffering |
Altruistic Joy | Be happy for self or other bringing joy |
Equanimity | Remaining Calm, regardless of circumstance |
State | Informal Practice |
---|---|
Loving-kindness | l20 |
Compassion | l21 |
Altruistic Joy | l22 |
Equanimity | l23 |
- l20
- Loving Thoughts: Make it a habit to silently wish happiness, safety, and well-being for people you interact with or think about, including strangers you pass on the street. (Happy gun - Pew Pew)
- Everyday Kindness: Practice small acts of kindness throughout your day. This could be as simple as offering a smile, giving a sincere compliment, or helping someone in a small way. These actions cultivate a habit of kindness.
- Give out chocolate/balls candy - Sometimes I’ll buy a bunch of chocolates in bulk and spend the day handing them out.
- l21
- Empathetic Listening: When talking to someone, especially if they’re sharing difficulties, practice fully listening with the intention to understand and empathize, rather than to respond. This fosters a deeper connection and compassion.
- Acts of Service: Look for opportunities to alleviate others’ suffering through acts of service, whether it’s through volunteering, supporting a friend in need, or any gesture that can ease someone’s burden.
- l22
- Appreciate Others: Make a conscious effort to celebrate others’ successes and joys, no matter how big or small. This can be through congratulatory messages, sharing in their excitement, or simply acknowledging their happiness.
- Mindful Appreciation: Notice and appreciate the good in those around you and in your own life. Acknowledging the positive aspects can enhance your capacity for joy.
- When doing something altruistic, think I am being altruistic, this makes me happy
- When seeing someone being altruistic, there exists a wonderful person in the world, I am happy
- When someone is doing an altruistic act, think more good is being done in the world, I am happy
- l23
- Balanced Response: Practice maintaining a calm and balanced response to both positive and negative events. This could mean taking a moment to breathe before reacting, helping to cultivate a more equanimous approach to life’s ups and downs.
- This too shall pass: Remind yourself of the impermanence of situations, emotions, and life itself. This practice can help cultivate a sense of peace and acceptance, reducing the intensity of attachment and aversion.
State | Sneaky Enemies |
---|---|
Loving-kindness | l10 |
Compassion | l11 |
Altruistic Joy | l12 |
Equanimity | l13 |
- l10
- Opposite: Ill will
- Grasping - If a person leaves, no longer love
- Conditional Love - Only love if they do XYZ
- l11
- Opposite Cruelty
- Pity - Feeling superior, reinforces ego.
- Grief/Despair - Need to have hope of an inspired future.
- l12
- Opposite Envy
- Relative to me - It’s good because it’s good for me.
- Unwholesome Joy - Feel happy for someone because of drugs or cheating someone
- l13
- Opposite Anxiety/Craving/Hatred/Anger
- Disengagement - Ignoring the thing we don’t want to see
- Apathy - See, but don’t care about the thing
Some formal practices
FP: Attending to the joy of loving-kindness
- 1m: Bring to mind someone for whom you can feel loving-kindness
- See if loving-kindness arises
- If it does, focus on it.
- Repeat for 3 reps
- Feel free to change sets and reps
FP: Cultivating compassion through peace, joy, and kindness
- 2m: Settle the mind
- 2m: Attend to joy
- 2m: Do loving-kindness from above
- Anytime: When selfless love arises, attend to it.
-
- 2m: Settle the mind
FP: Uplifting and settling the mind with altruistic joy
- 2m: Uplift the mind
- Think of a person for whom you’ve brought altruistic intent
- Think of the deed, think of the intention
- Delight in your action
- 5m: Settle the mind
- 2m: Attend to joy if it’s present
This is a summary of Search Inside Yourself and Joy on Demand, and the place I learned many of my emotional health practices