Training the sublime states

emotional intelligence
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Emotional health is pretty important. Western folks don’t have a lot of words to support this. Luckily, the Buddhists have the sublime states: Loving-kindness, Compassion, Altruistic Joy, and Equanimity. Give ‘em a try. Most of this post is based on “The Joy of Happiness”.

Uplift the mind in seconds

Tools of the trade (Sublime states):

State Definition
Loving-kindness Wish someone to be happy
Compassion Wish someone to be free of suffering
Altruistic Joy Be happy for self or other bringing joy
Equanimity Remaining Calm, regardless of circumstance
State Informal Practice
Loving-kindness l20
Compassion l21
Altruistic Joy l22
Equanimity l23
  • l20
  • Loving Thoughts: Make it a habit to silently wish happiness, safety, and well-being for people you interact with or think about, including strangers you pass on the street. (Happy gun - Pew Pew)
  • Everyday Kindness: Practice small acts of kindness throughout your day. This could be as simple as offering a smile, giving a sincere compliment, or helping someone in a small way. These actions cultivate a habit of kindness.
  • Give out chocolate/balls candy - Sometimes I’ll buy a bunch of chocolates in bulk and spend the day handing them out.
  • l21
  • Empathetic Listening: When talking to someone, especially if they’re sharing difficulties, practice fully listening with the intention to understand and empathize, rather than to respond. This fosters a deeper connection and compassion.
  • Acts of Service: Look for opportunities to alleviate others’ suffering through acts of service, whether it’s through volunteering, supporting a friend in need, or any gesture that can ease someone’s burden.
  • l22
  • Appreciate Others: Make a conscious effort to celebrate others’ successes and joys, no matter how big or small. This can be through congratulatory messages, sharing in their excitement, or simply acknowledging their happiness.
  • Mindful Appreciation: Notice and appreciate the good in those around you and in your own life. Acknowledging the positive aspects can enhance your capacity for joy.
  • When doing something altruistic, think I am being altruistic, this makes me happy
  • When seeing someone being altruistic, there exists a wonderful person in the world, I am happy
  • When someone is doing an altruistic act, think more good is being done in the world, I am happy
  • l23
  • Balanced Response: Practice maintaining a calm and balanced response to both positive and negative events. This could mean taking a moment to breathe before reacting, helping to cultivate a more equanimous approach to life’s ups and downs.
  • This too shall pass: Remind yourself of the impermanence of situations, emotions, and life itself. This practice can help cultivate a sense of peace and acceptance, reducing the intensity of attachment and aversion.
State Sneaky Enemies
Loving-kindness l10
Compassion l11
Altruistic Joy l12
Equanimity l13
  • l10
  • Opposite: Ill will
  • Grasping - If a person leaves, no longer love
  • Conditional Love - Only love if they do XYZ
  • l11
  • Opposite Cruelty
  • Pity - Feeling superior, reinforces ego.
  • Grief/Despair - Need to have hope of an inspired future.
  • l12
  • Opposite Envy
  • Relative to me - It’s good because it’s good for me.
  • Unwholesome Joy - Feel happy for someone because of drugs or cheating someone
  • l13
  • Opposite Anxiety/Craving/Hatred/Anger
  • Disengagement - Ignoring the thing we don’t want to see
  • Apathy - See, but don’t care about the thing

Some formal practices

FP: Attending to the joy of loving-kindness

  • 1m: Bring to mind someone for whom you can feel loving-kindness
    • See if loving-kindness arises
    • If it does, focus on it.
  • Repeat for 3 reps
  • Feel free to change sets and reps

FP: Cultivating compassion through peace, joy, and kindness

  • 2m: Settle the mind
  • 2m: Attend to joy
  • 2m: Do loving-kindness from above
  • Anytime: When selfless love arises, attend to it.
    • 2m: Settle the mind

FP: Uplifting and settling the mind with altruistic joy

  • 2m: Uplift the mind
    • Think of a person for whom you’ve brought altruistic intent
    • Think of the deed, think of the intention
    • Delight in your action
  • 5m: Settle the mind
  • 2m: Attend to joy if it’s present

This is a summary of Search Inside Yourself and Joy on Demand, and the place I learned many of my emotional health practices