Time off July 2026 - Scandinavian Whirlwind Tour
22 days, 5 countries, 4 Dvorkins, one whirlwind tour. From Reykjavík to Amsterdam by way of Copenhagen, Stockholm, Oslo, the Norwegian fjords, and Bergen. This is the first time we’ve attempted a trip of this scope as a family — the kids are 16 and 12, both still home, and the window for “all four of us on the road together” closes faster than I’d like.
Somewhere in the planning I figured out how much depth is sitting behind every one of these stops, and that I didn’t have to go dig it out myself. So I pointed ChatGPT at each city and had it find the good stuff — what’s worth seeing, when it’s open, and the strange little factoids that make a place stick. That research turned into its own site, and it’s the single thing that made this trip more interesting than a list of landmarks.
For context on why I take time off: /time-off.
Why I’m taking this time off — ranked
I wrote down what I’m actually here for, in order — and then the trip rearranged the list on me.
What I expected:
- Deepen my relationship with Amelia and Tori — quality time over mere presence.
- Really meet whoever we’re traveling with — I put reasonable odds our kids end up woven into each other’s lives for a long while. Good chance to say hello.
- Escape.
But it turns out — on #3, I had nothing to escape from. Amazingly, no work stress and no PSC stress: for once my body was home and my mind stayed home too. Work boxed itself this time — I’d just moved to an IC role at Meta’s AI Lab, so there were no calibrations to sweat and the old Calibration Collapse trap never fired. Take away the consuming and there was simply nothing left to run from.
What I didn’t expect:
- The addiction dissolved — social media and vibe-coding went quiet out here, more than I thought they could.
- The jovial me came back — to my genuine and thrilled surprise, the itch to do balloons, magic, and just be fun came roaring back.
4 and 5 are the interesting ones, and they’re linked: the one real sacrifice I’ve made to AI is that the Dealer of Smiles and Wonder just stopped showing up. Out here, with the screens quiet, he walked right back in — the guy underneath was someone I’d been missing.
The one thing I actually researched: the gyms
Most of this trip I was happy to wing. The gyms I was paranoid about. Before we left I went city by city and worked out which ones had kettlebells — that was the whole research project, and it’s the piece I’m proudest of, because it held. I got to a real gym every three days for the entire trip, and I did my back exercises basically every day, on whatever floor was going. Skip that part and I come home an old man with a crippled back. Not a metaphor — that’s just what happens.
The receipt showed up at the top of the Voss gondola. Amelia and I rode up to mess around, and there’s a rope up there with a bell at the top. I climbed it and rang it. Sixteen days into the trip, my body still did what I asked it to do. That’s what the research was for.
At a Glance
| Leg | Dates | Nights | Country |
|---|---|---|---|
| 🇮🇸 Reykjavík (stopover) | Jun 28 – Jun 30 | 2 | Iceland |
| 🇩🇰 Copenhagen (with Ammon) | Jun 30 – Jul 3 | 3 | Denmark |
| 🇸🇪 Stockholm (meet the Saffitzes) | Jul 3 – Jul 7 | 4 | Sweden |
| 🇳🇴 Oslo | Jul 7 – Jul 10 | 3 | Norway |
| 🏔️ Aurland (fjords) | Jul 10 – Jul 12 | 2 | Norway |
| ⛰️ Voss | Jul 12 – Jul 13 | 1 | Norway |
| 🌉 Bergen | Jul 13 – Jul 16 | 3 | Norway |
| 🇳🇱 Amsterdam | Jul 16 – Jul 19 | 3 | Netherlands |
Total: 22 days, 5 countries (Iceland → Denmark → Sweden → Norway → Netherlands), back home Jul 19. All 4 Dvorkins (Igor, Tori, Zach, Amelia) the whole way — Iceland and Copenhagen just us, friends with us from Stockholm on.
📍 See the full route on Google Maps — 8 stops in one view.
How it actually went
This started as the pre-trip wishlist. It’s now the record of where we actually went — memory and the journal, cross-checked day by day against my Google Maps Timeline. What’s left on a From the plan line is genuinely unresolved: the Timeline misses boats and indoor stops, so absence isn’t proof we skipped it.
The day’s Timeline — Sat Jun 27: wheels up for Iceland. (Home label blacked out.)
🇮🇸 Reykjavík (Jun 28–30) — the Iceland stopover · 📍 map
The pools are the whole thing. You start in an 8°C cold plunge — the kind that empties your head — then climb through 40, 42, 44, one of the hot ones fed by a pipe running straight in from the ocean. Sauna with all four of us. One morning I banked a full 5am kettlebell session before anyone woke up. It was already pouring at 5, so instead of the five-minute walk I took the rental Tesla to the gym — felt a little lame driving something that short, but I made it happen. The keystone held. Sauna at 7. We stayed in a hostel with a shared kitchen, and the best night was cooking dinner next to strangers and trading stories across the table.
Two things stuck with me about Iceland. Family is clearly the whole priority — a trampoline in every yard, kids everywhere. And nobody eats out; there are barely any restaurants, so everyone eats in.
- The Reykjavík pools — the 8°C cold plunge, the 40/42/44 hot pots, sauna with all four of us
- A 5am kettlebell session at World Class Laugar — in the pouring rain, rental Tesla and all
- Laekur Hostel’s shared kitchen — cooking dinner next to strangers
- Hallgrímskirkja and a walk down Laugavegur
- Reykjavík Park and Zoo
From the plan — the Timeline doesn’t show these: the Golden Circle drive (Þingvellir, Geysir, Gullfoss), the Bæjarins Beztu hot dog. And the Blue Lagoon / Sky Lagoon we simply never did.
🇩🇰 Copenhagen (Jun 30 – Jul 3) — with Ammon · 📍 map
Copenhagen was Ammon’s stop — two days with a friend and no fixed agenda, which is its own kind of luxury. The two moments that stuck weren’t on any list: sitting down to meditate inside a church, the quiet a church keeps, and walking the Round Tower’s spiral ramp barefoot — cold stone, the pitch of the slope coming up through my feet.
- Two days with Ammon — the point of the stop
- The Round Tower (Rundetaarn), Christiansborg Palace, Amalienborg Palace, the Gefion Fountain
- Church of Our Saviour
- Tivoli Gardens
- The Botanical Garden
- Torvehallerne and Reffen — the food markets
- Restaurants: Huks Fluks and Farfars Bodega
From the plan — the Timeline doesn’t show these: Nyhavn + the canals, the Marble Church (Marmorkirken) dome climb.
Wed Jul 1 · Torvehallerne, the Round Tower, Christiansborg, Tivoli
Thu Jul 2 · Amalienborg, the Gefion Fountain, Reffen, Huks Fluks
Fri Jul 3 · the Botanical Garden, Farfars Bodega, then København H
🇸🇪 Stockholm (Jul 3–7) · 📍 map
Skansen was the surprise. It’s an open-air museum of an old Swedish village, and everyone stays in role. People were singing. A glassblower shaped a glass mouse. Off to the side a silversmith was raising a vase out of a flat disk of silver over a wood fire — a hundred hours of work, he told us, his whole summer in one object. One staffer had committed so hard to the part, mustache and all, that he was worth the ticket on his own.
Amelia did the zoo solo and out-prepared me — when my phone died she handed me her spare battery. I’m supposed to be the one carrying that.
Sunday we ducked into a Greek Orthodox church, and Zach got a blessing from the visiting bishop. I nearly got thrown out of the same church for doing magic in the pews. Standing there getting chewed out, I hit a Viktor Frankl beat — between what happens to you and how you respond there’s a gap, and no one can take away the freedom inside it. Two wins: I caught my fight-or-flight reaction multiple times and breathed through it instead of firing back, and I got some work in on my memorization practice. Proactive, not reactive — I chose the response.
- Skansen — the glassblower, the silversmith, the staff who stay in role
- The zoo — Amelia’s solo run, spare battery and all
- Vasa Museum — the warship that capsized on its maiden voyage and came back three centuries later
- The Royal Palace
- Östermalm — Östermalms Saluhall and the Stureplan blocks
- Sunday at the Greek Orthodox church — Zach’s blessing, my near-ejection
- Zach’s dinner tear: frog legs, ratatouille, escargot
From the plan — the Timeline doesn’t show these: fika in Stortorget, the ABBA Museum, Fotografiska, the kayak tour, the Evening Wildlife Safari, Södermalm street art, the Runriket rune stones.
Sat Jul 4 · Östermalms Saluhall, Stureplan, the Royal Palace
Sun Jul 5 · the Greek Orthodox church
Mon Jul 6 · the Vasa, Skansen, and a grocery run
🇳🇴 Oslo (Jul 7–10) · 📍 map
We got there by train, and I have a confession about the ride. Six hours from Stockholm to Oslo, the kids watching TV, and I went on a full tech bender — banged out the whole trip site, the city deep-dives, the maps, the war pack, all of it, and logged the blitz in my changelog. Six hours of what I’d call super blogging time, and honestly I quite enjoyed it. At least it was building, not scrolling.
The best thing in Oslo happened on the subway. A man was doing pull-ups on the grab bar. I love doing pull-ups on the subway, and my instinct was to get up and join him. Tori vetoed that, so I settled for going over and handing him one of my you are awesome cards.
What followed was the most sincere disagreement I’ve ever had with a stranger. He took the card, thanked me, and then set about gently correcting my mistake.
“I am not a special man,” he said. “I am a regular man.”
“No, you’re great.”
“No, no. I am an African man.”
“Yes! That’s great.”
“No, no. I am an Islamic man.”
“Yes, yes. That’s great too.”
Every round he handed me another reason he didn’t deserve the card, and every round I took it as another reason he did. Neither of us moved an inch.
Then we walked off and Tori said: “You know that man thought you were trying to hit on him, right?”
I howled. I’m still howling.
- A morning in Grünerløkka — coffee, record bins, the kids picking through secondhand racks
- The new Deichman library in Bjørvika — floors of light, kids reading everywhere
- A boat tour on the Oslofjord
- Walked under the Barcode towers in Bjørvika
- Walked the Opera House roof — white marble sloping straight down into the water
- The Holmenkollen Ski Museum
- Vikingtidsmuseet — the Viking Ship Museum
- Akershus Fortress
Tue Jul 7 · the train down through Sweden
Wed Jul 8 · Holmenkollen, Vikingtidsmuseet, the loop out on the Oslofjord
Thu Jul 9 · Akershus Fortress and the walk back through town
🏔️ Aurland + Voss (Jul 10–13) — the fjords · 📍 Aurland · 📍 Voss
The Nærøyfjord cruise, Aurland to Gudvangen, blew us away: walls of rock straight out of the water, waterfalls off the top, a scale that shut the whole boat up.
- The train out of Oslo to Myrdal, then the Flåmsbana down the valley to the fjord
- Two nights based in Aurland, deep in fjord country — Winjum Apartments, groceries from the local SPAR
- The Stegastein viewpoint, Borgund Stavkyrkje (the stave church), and the drive through the Lærdalstunnelen
- A fjord cruise from Aurland to Gudvangen, the Viking town — up the Nærøyfjord
- Viking Valley (Njardarheimr) in Gudvangen
- Then the bus up to Voss, a walk along the lake, and the gondola with Amelia — rope, bell, and all
Fri Jul 10 · the Flåmsbana down to Aurland
Sat Jul 11 · out on the fjord and back
Sun Jul 12 · Viking Valley, the Lærdalstunnelen, down to Voss
🌉 Bergen (Jul 13–16) · 📍 map
Bergen sits under a big hill with a funicular running to the top — and you can also just walk up. What nobody mentions is that the walking route isn’t really a route. It threads up through the back of the neighborhood, which is to say: through people’s yards.
I went up without a working map, navigating by asking whoever happened to be standing there. “Can I get to the top this way?” — “Yeah, kind of.” Higher up: “More, kind of.” Higher still and I’m plainly in somebody’s backyard, and the somebody is standing in it, looking at me. “What are you doing in my backyard?” “Trying to get to the top.” He thought about it. “I guess you go through those bushes.”
Then his daughter came around the corner, maybe eight years old. So I did a magic trick for her, and she lit up the way only an eight-year-old can. Her dad: “This is glorious! Go show your mom.” Then I went through the bushes.
Somewhere in that house is a story about the random nut job who materialized in the backyard and did an incredible trick for their kid. Best moment of the day.
- Fløibanen funicular up Mt. Fløyen — and the walk up the back way, through the yards
- Øvregaten — the street through the old Bryggen quarter
- A meal at Marg & Bein
From the plan — the Timeline doesn’t show these: the guided Bryggen walking tour, the Mostraumen fjord boat or Mt. Ulriken cable car, the Flavours of Bergen food tour, the Islets kayak tour, the morning fish market.
Mon Jul 13 · over the mountains from Voss
Tue Jul 14 · the Fløibanen and the town below
Wed Jul 15 · Fløyen top to bottom, Øvregaten, Marg & Bein
🇳🇱 Amsterdam (Jul 16–19) · 📍 map
The last stop, and the one whose story I still owe. For now the Timeline holds the shape:
- The Jordaan and The 9 Streets (De Negen Straatjes)
- Rijksmuseum
- Vondelpark and Rembrandtpark
- A meal at Rasoi
From the plan — the Timeline doesn’t show these: renting bikes, the Anne Frank House, Foodhallen, the A’DAM Lookout swing, NDSM Wharf / Zaanse Schans windmills. The canal cruise we never did.
Fri Jul 17 · the Jordaan, Vondelpark, Rembrandtpark
Sat Jul 18 · The 9 Streets, the Rijksmuseum, Rasoi
And the Timeline for Sun Jul 19 — the long hop home.
🤔 Unexpected realizations
Before the trip I moved my social apps onto my work phone — but LinkedIn stayed on my main phone the whole way. And all trip my thumb kept opening it on autopilot. Why do I keep checking that? What do I think I’m going to find? It was right there, so I kept finding it.
Tonight I finally locked it out. The funny part: going through the motions to block it, I somehow ended up at the LinkedIn login page anyway — like the habit walked me there on its own. Kind of weird to watch myself do it.
It’s got me curious about the habit loop — cue, craving, response, reward. Now the app’s gone and the reward with it, so which part keeps pulling the trigger? I don’t have the answer yet. I want to sit with that one.
Related
Started ~6 weeks pre-trip; the recap sections were written on the road, and the place lists were trued up afterward against my Google Maps Timeline. Back home Jul 19.