Walking with God: A Daily Devotional Journey

Someone important to me has been reading a daily devotional. Even though I’m not religious, I’m studying with them to be able to have conversations about the insights - whether in a secular or religious context. This is my attempt to bridge two worlds: honoring the spiritual wisdom they’re finding while translating it into language that works for my engineer brain.

• What Is a Daily Devotional?
• Why I’m Doing This
• The Translation Challenge
• Daily Insights
  • January
  • February
  • March
  • April
  • May
  • June
  • July
  • August
  • September
  • October
    • October 20th - Seeing His Face
    • October 21st - The Pleasure of God
    • October 22nd - Praying in God’s mind
    • October 23rd - Perspective
    • October 24th - Pure Joy
    • October 26th - Wisdom through Prayer
    • October 27th - Wisdom through Meditation
    • October 28th - Wisdom through Recall
    • October 31st - Wisdom through Fellowship
  • November
    • November 1st - Jesus in This World
    • November 2nd - Identity as Gift
    • November 3rd - Just Like Jesus
    • November 4th - Authenticity
    • November 5th - Authentic Worship
    • November 11th - Brotherly Devotion
    • November 13th - A Prescription for Pain
    • November 16th - Asa’s Folly
    • November 19th - Anatomy of a Surrender: Idolatry
  • December

What Is a Daily Devotional?

A daily devotional is a short reading - usually a page or two - combining scripture, reflection, and prayer. The format is remarkably consistent:

1. A Bible verse - the anchor for the day’s theme
2. A story or reflection - connecting the verse to modern life
3. A prayer or action step - making it practical

It’s designed to be read first thing in the morning, setting the tone for the day. Think of it as a spiritual vitamin - a small, concentrated dose of meaning before the chaos begins.

Why I’m Doing This

I’m not doing this to become religious. I’m doing it because:

My 3rd Affirmation - Of course! Be a class act. This devotional practice is part of living that value with integrity.

Connection - This person matters to me. When they talk about what they’re learning, I want to actually understand, not just nod politely. This is Habit 5 in action: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Curiosity - If something is helping someone I respect, I want to know what’s in there. What wisdom am I missing by dismissing it outright? Isn’t that curious?

Translation practice - Can I take religious wisdom and find the secular equivalent? Or does something get lost in translation that I should pay attention to?

The Translation Challenge

Every morning I read the devotional twice:

First pass: Just read it as written. Let the religious language sit there. Don’t rush to translate.

Second pass: The translation game. When it says “God,” what would I say instead? When it talks about prayer, what’s my equivalent practice?

Some days the translation is clean:

• “Trust God’s plan” → “Focus on influence, not control”
• “Pray without ceasing” → “Practice continuous gratitude”

Other days the translation feels lossy, like I’m missing something essential by removing the divine element. Those are the days I sit with longer.

Daily Insights

This section will grow as I continue the practice. Each entry captures both the religious wisdom and my secular translation attempts.

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

October 20th - Seeing His Face

To me this is really about: Self-compassion/self-acceptance.

My favorite line in the pasage: “If God accepts me as I am, I’d better do the same.”

Important distinction: Acceptance isn’t surrender. It’s not “this is who I am and I’ll never change.” True acceptance means “I accept where I am right now AND I have hope for improvement.” (Without the hope part, acceptance becomes resignation - that’s bad)

October 21st - The Pleasure of God

To me this is really about: You get to choose if you’re happy or miserable - might as well choose happy.

My favorite line from the passage: How would you characterize your relationship with God? Cold and sterile? Distant and frustrating? It need not be any of these. It can actually be—dare we suggest it?—fun

Here’s the tale I use that’s coherent with this passage:

There’s this beggar I pass every day. Dirty face, few teeth, hunched over. His life is objectively harder than mine. But he’s always got the biggest smile - while I’m usually rushing past in my own head, stressed about nothing.

One day, in an especially foul mood, I stopped. “How are you always so happy?”

He looked me dead in the eye: “Listen man, every day I wake up and choose. Miserable or happy. I choose happy.”

Important distinction: This isn’t toxic positivity or denying real hardship. It’s recognizing that even in difficult circumstances, you have agency over your internal state. The beggar’s life is still hard - but his choice to face it with happiness doesn’t make the hardship disappear, it changes his experience of it.

October 22nd - Praying in God’s mind

To me this is really about: Soul-searching to find your essentialist position - and doing it regularly.

My favorite line from the passage: “Ask for His wisdom. Pray for His thoughts. Look for a drastic revision to your character and your dreams, and then pray the desires of the new you.”

Here’s how I translate this:

Prayers for wisdom aren’t that different from doing the deep soul-searching to figure out your essentialist position. What actually matters? What’s the signal versus the noise? What should I focus on versus politely decline?

It’s like my essentialist affirmation - reminding myself what the one thing is that makes everything else easier or unnecessary.

And doing it frequently? That’s the do-it-anyway affirmation. Because here’s the catch: wisdom keeps changing. What mattered last month might not be the priority this month. Your circumstances shift, you grow, the world changes.

So you can’t just figure out your essentialist position once and be done. You have to keep looking for wisdom because it’s a moving target.

Important distinction: This isn’t about being wishy-washy or lacking conviction. It’s about recognizing that wisdom is context-dependent. The right answer for yesterday might not be the right answer for today. Regular reflection isn’t indecision - it’s staying calibrated.

October 23rd - Perspective

To me this is really about: Transcendence - seeing beyond yourself, knowing you’re not the center of the universe.

My favorite line from the passage: “Has your perspective become distorted? Do your problems seem huge?”

Here’s how I translate this:

When you lose perspective, everything becomes catastrophic. A minor setback feels like the end of the world. A criticism feels like a personal attack. Not getting what you want feels like cosmic injustice.

But perspective is about getting small - recognizing your problems are a tiny speck in the vastness of time and space. This connects to my “Calm Like Water” affirmation: “Be present, this too shall pass, work the problem.” The “this too shall pass” part is both temporal (it will pass) and cosmic (you’re not that important in the grand scheme).

It’s also about coherence - distinguishing your circle of influence from your circle of concern. Perspective lets you focus energy on what you can actually affect, instead of burning out trying to control everything beyond your reach.

Important distinction: Perspective isn’t about minimizing real problems or toxic positivity. It’s about calibrating the size of your response to the actual size of the problem. A real crisis deserves a crisis response. But not every disappointment is a crisis. Perspective helps you tell the difference.

October 24th - Pure Joy

To me this is really about: Resilience and reframing - what doesn’t kill you proves you’re not dead.

My favorite line from the passage: “What rational person would consider the trials of life pure joy? Only those who can see the surprising benefit in them.”

Here’s how I translate this:

There’s a version of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” that I actually believe: what doesn’t kill you proves you’re not dead. It’s not that hardship automatically makes you better - it’s that surviving hardship reveals you’re still in the game.

And there’s real power in seeing the bright side when things are hard. Not toxic positivity that denies the difficulty, but genuine reframing. This too shall pass - both the good and the bad.

One of my jobs as a manager is to be the person who looks on the bright side. When a seagull poops on your head, I’m the one who says “How lucky you are! This is like a glorious massage - it’s warm, it’s good for your skin, all that jazz.” Is it ridiculous? Absolutely. But sometimes the ridiculous reframe is exactly what breaks the catastrophic thinking.

The “pure joy” framing works when you can see the surprising benefit in trials. Not because suffering is good, but because you’ve learned that you usually find something valuable on the other side. Pattern recognition breeds optimism - not blind optimism, but earned optimism from repeatedly discovering unexpected benefits in difficulties.

Important distinction: This isn’t about pretending hardship doesn’t hurt or that you should be grateful for suffering. It’s about recognizing that your perspective on difficulty shapes your experience of it. The seagull poop is still poop - but choosing to find humor in it makes it less awful. This is different from denying reality; it’s choosing which aspect of reality to focus on. The pain is real AND you can still find benefits. Both can be true.

October 26th - Wisdom through Prayer

To me this is really about: Prayer as cognitive work - the mental labor of thinking hard and reconsidering frequently.

This builds on October 22nd’s insight about prayer as soul-searching, but with a crucial distinction:

October 22nd focused on prayer as a tool for finding wisdom and your essentialist position. But here’s the key that matters even more: prayer isn’t about passively expecting God to inflate your mind with wisdom without doing the work. Prayer IS the work itself - the active cognitive labor of thinking hard, reconsidering, and wrestling with questions.

Here’s how I translate this:

Prayer for wisdom is the practice of deep, intentional thinking - not outsourcing your cognition to the divine. It’s the mental work of examining your beliefs, challenging your assumptions, and reconsidering what you thought you knew. And it requires doing this work frequently because wisdom isn’t static.

The scriptures are clear about this:

• Hebrews 11:6: God rewards those who “diligently seek him” - the Greek word means to zealously seek with all your heart, strength, and might. Not passive waiting.
• Matthew 7:7: “Ask, seek, knock” - all active verbs requiring persistence and engagement.
• Philippians 2:12-13: “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling” - you must actively work out what has been worked in. Grace is opposed to earning, not effort.
• Colossians 4:2: “Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it” - the labor of prayer requires alertness and devotion.

In secular terms: wisdom requires the cognitive labor of reflection. It’s not about hoping the answer will magically appear - it’s about putting in the mental work to find it. Like the essentialist affirmation, you have to keep doing the hard thinking to figure out what matters, and you have to do it repeatedly because the answer keeps changing.

Important distinction: This isn’t about rejecting divine help or inspiration - it’s about recognizing that even divine wisdom requires human effort to receive and integrate. The religious version says “God provides wisdom to those who diligently seek it.” The secular version says “wisdom emerges from consistent, intentional cognitive work.” Both require you to do the actual thinking - there’s no shortcut around the mental labor.

October 27th - Wisdom through Meditation

To me this is really about: Deep reflection - thinking hard about principles, not just reading them quickly.

My favorite line from the passage: “What does that mean? It means to chew on it, think of what God does with it and why it came from His mouth, how we’ve failed it in our past, and how it might be applied in our everyday lives.”

This builds on both October 22nd’s insight about soul-searching and October 26th’s insight about prayer as cognitive work:

The metaphor of “chewing on” scripture isn’t about passive consumption - it’s about active, repeated engagement. You don’t just swallow wisdom whole. You break it down, examine it from multiple angles, extract the nutrients.

Here’s how I translate this:

Real learning happens through deep reflection, not surface-level reading. Whether it’s scripture, philosophy, or any principle you’re trying to internalize - you need to:

1. Think about the source - Why does this principle exist? What problem does it solve? What’s the deeper logic behind it?
2. Examine your past - Where have I failed to live by this? What were the consequences? What patterns do I see?
3. Apply to your present - How does this show up in my everyday life? What would it look like to actually practice this today?

This is the same process I do with my essentialist affirmations - I don’t just recite them mechanically. I think about what they mean, how I’ve violated them recently, what situations call for them. The meditation isn’t just sitting quietly with eyes closed - it’s the active cognitive work of integration.

It’s also similar to my practice with Search Inside Yourself - the formal meditation creates space for reflection, but the real work is examining your thoughts, patterns, and behaviors with curiosity rather than judgment.

Important distinction: This isn’t about beating yourself up for past failures or overthinking until you’re paralyzed. It’s about engaged examination that leads to integration. You’re not just memorizing the words - you’re letting them reshape how you see and respond to the world. The “chewing” metaphor is perfect: it’s repetitive, thorough work that breaks down what you’ve received so you can actually absorb it.

October 28th - Wisdom through Recall

To me this is really about: Meditation giving wisdom power - when you’ve internalized something deeply, it starts to guide you.

My favorite line from the passage: “When you’ve memorized a variety of Scripture passages, you will find them deeper and more relevant than ever before. When you’re in the midst of a crisis, the Spirit will bring the right word into your situation.”

Here’s how I translate this:

After you’ve meditated on something enough - really internalized it, repeated it, lived with it - it starts to guide you. It gives you power. This connects to one of my favorite lines: “Repetition births ritual. Rituals become sacred. The sacred commands power.”

When you memorize Scripture (or affirmations, or principles), you’re not just storing data - you’re making something sacred through repetition. And when something becomes sacred to you, it commands power in your life. In a crisis, the right word surfaces not because you frantically search your notes, but because you’ve internalized it so deeply it’s become part of how you think.

This is the difference between:

• Having wisdom (it’s written down somewhere, searchable if you remember to look)
• Being guided by wisdom (it’s so deeply internalized it shows up automatically when you need it)

My affirmations practice works the same way. I don’t write them out daily just to remember them intellectually - I write them to ritualize them, to make them sacred, so they command power when I need them. When I’m stressed, “Calm like water: Be present. This too shall pass. Work the problem” surfaces automatically because I’ve repeated it hundreds of times.

The religious practice of memorizing Scripture serves this exact function: making wisdom so deeply part of you that the Spirit can “bring the right word into your situation.” In secular terms: you’ve internalized it enough that your subconscious can surface the right pattern when you need it.

This also connects to how I think about journaling and the AI journal practice. The journal is the external memory system for discovering wisdom. But the affirmations are how I take discovered wisdom and make it sacred through repetition - turning it from something I know intellectually into something that actually guides me.

Important distinction: This isn’t about mindless repetition or rigid dogma. The power comes from repeatedly engaging with wisdom that actually resonates with you - that’s why affirmations need to “speak to you” to work. You can’t force something to become sacred through mechanical repetition alone. The ritual needs authentic meaning behind it, or it’s just empty repetition. But once something truly speaks to you, consistent ritual transforms it from knowledge into power.

October 31st - Wisdom through Fellowship

To me this is really about: Tribe gives you wisdom, inspiration, and courage - you get smarter and braver when you’re part of a group that challenges and complements your thinking.

My favorite line from the passage: “Don’t idealize the church. It is made of redeemed but flawed people in a process of transformation. But don’t underestimate it, either.”

Here’s how I translate this:

Wisdom isn’t just individual - it’s distributed across a tribe. When you’re part of a tribe, you get access to perspectives you’d never generate alone. Someone sees the blind spot you can’t see. Someone has lived through the thing you’re facing. Someone asks the question that breaks your stuck thinking.

There are sayings that capture this:

• “Iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17) - you get sharper through friction with others
• “You become the average of your peers” - so hang out with people better than you
• “Be the dumbest person in the room” - though careful, this wears you down after a while

What tribes actually give you:

• Wisdom on what you don’t know - filling your blind spots
• Inspiration when you’re stuck - seeing what’s possible
• Courage from seeing others have gone through it - proof that the hard thing is survivable

I’m intellectually aligned with this. I know tribe matters. But I don’t really do it - I don’t have a tribe I regularly engage with for this kind of wisdom exchange. And that’s probably costing me.

The passage warns against two extremes with church (or any tribe):

1. Don’t idealize it - Tribes are made of flawed people. They’ll disappoint you. They’ll have bad takes. They’ll fail to live up to the ideal you want them to be.
2. Don’t underestimate it - Even with all the flaws, there’s real wisdom and transformation that happens through fellowship. The wisdom, inspiration, and courage are real.

This connects to why I struggle with tribe: I tend to either idealize it (expecting perfect wisdom transmission, getting disappointed) or underestimate it (deciding I can figure everything out alone, which is hubris). Neither approach actually gets me the benefits.

The secular version: Join tribes not for perfection but for wisdom, inspiration, and courage. Find your people - even flawed people in process - and engage regularly. These benefits emerge from the collective, not from any single perfect source.

The “fellowship” isn’t about blind conformity or groupthink - it’s about the intellectual and emotional work that happens when you’re regularly in conversation with people who care about similar things but see them differently than you do.

Important distinction: This isn’t about finding an echo chamber or seeking validation. Real fellowship challenges you - it surfaces your blind spots, questions your assumptions, and offers perspectives you wouldn’t generate alone. The discomfort of having your thinking challenged is a feature, not a bug. You don’t need a perfect tribe or a tribe that agrees with you on everything. You need a tribe that’s wrestling with similar questions and willing to think hard together. The “flawed people in process of transformation” part is crucial - everyone is figuring it out, and that shared vulnerability is what makes the wisdom exchange possible.

November

November 1st - Jesus in This World

To me this is really about: Finding and being your true self - your essentialist self.

My favorite line from the passage: ”The life of Jesus in us Being our essentialist self will make us ill-adapted to live comfortably in the ways of the world. But the life of Jesus in us being our true self will make us entirely satisfied as misfits.”

Here’s how I translate this:

This is about the work of finding who you really are and then having the courage to be that person - even when the world pushes back against it. For me, finding my authentic self meant working on my eulogy - literally writing out who I want to be and how I want to be remembered. It’s not a one-time decision. It’s constant assessment: Am I being who I want to be? Am I living aligned with my true self? And then doing the hard work of course-correcting when the answer is no.

The world wants you to fit in. To be comfortable. To not make waves. But when you’re being your essentialist self - when you’re living authentically as who you actually are - you won’t fit comfortably into the world’s boxes. You’ll be ill-adapted to the standardized paths everyone else is walking.

And that’s the point.

The misfits are the ones who know themselves deeply enough to be satisfied with not fitting in. They’re not satisfied because they’re misfits - they’re satisfied because they’re being true to themselves. The misfit status is just the natural consequence of authenticity.

This connects to the essentialist position from October 22nd - constantly doing the soul-searching to figure out what matters. But this takes it further: once you know what matters, you have to actually be that person. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when you don’t fit.

The work is worth it. Being a satisfied misfit beats being a miserable conformist.

Important distinction: This isn’t about being contrarian for its own sake or rejecting everything conventional just to be different. It’s about knowing yourself well enough to recognize when fitting in would require betraying who you are. Some people’s true selves happen to align well with conventional paths - that’s fine. But if your true self doesn’t fit the mold, forcing yourself into it creates a different kind of suffering. The goal is authenticity, not rebellion. The misfit status is a side effect, not the objective.

November 2nd - Identity as Gift

To me this is really about: Your intrinsic value and the confidence that comes from embodying your best self.

My favorite line from the passage: “Christ in us: It’s like identity theft from the divine, but freely offered, not stolen.”

Here’s how I translate this:

This devotional touches on two distinct but related ideas from the “many meanings of God”:

1. Unconditional Love - You have intrinsic value:

The religious version: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life… will be able to separate us from the love of God” (Romans 8:38-39). God loves you unconditionally, regardless of your performance or achievement.

The secular translation: You are inherently worthy. Not because of what you accomplish or produce, but because you exist. This is the foundation of self-compassion - treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a good friend, even when you’re struggling or failing.

This connects to October 20th’s insight: “If God accepts me as I am, I’d better do the same.” You don’t have to earn your basic worthiness through achievement. It’s a gift, not a reward.

2. Confidence - Embodying your best self:

The “identity theft from the divine” line captures something clever: you get to borrow an identity beyond your current self and grow into it. Religiously, this is “Christ in us” - embodying divine qualities.

The secular translation: Aspirational identity - trying on the identity of your best self until you grow into it. It’s like “fake it till you make it,” but deeper. You’re not being fake - you’re practicing being the person you’re becoming.

This also connects to psychological modeling: we become like those we spend time with and admire. So “borrowing” qualities from role models (divine or human) is how growth actually works. You act with confidence you don’t yet have, treating it like borrowed confidence, until one day you realize it’s become yours.

In practice, this looks like:

• Acting “as if”: Behaving like the person you want to become, even before you feel like that person
• Growth mindset: Your capabilities aren’t fixed - you can develop them
• Possible selves: Envisioning your best self clearly enough that you can grow toward it

The genius of the “identity theft” framing is that it acknowledges the gap - you’re not pretending the qualities are already yours, you’re consciously borrowing them and wearing them until they fit. The gift isn’t just that you’re loved as you are - it’s that you get to become more than you currently are.

Important distinction: Unconditional love (you’re worthy as you are) and aspirational identity (you can become more) aren’t contradictory - they’re complementary. You need both. Without unconditional love, the pursuit of growth becomes toxic - you’re trying to earn worthiness you already have. Without aspirational identity, acceptance becomes stagnation - you stop growing because you’ve confused “I’m worthy” with “I’m finished.” The sweet spot is: I’m worthy now AND I’m becoming more. Both are true. The gift is both parts: you’re loved as you are, and you’re invited to become more than you are.

November 3rd - Just Like Jesus

To me this is really about: Walking the talk - you can’t just claim the label, you have to do the work.

My favorite line from the passage: “Do we grab the free gift of our grace without forgetting the cross-carrying side of discipleship?”

Here’s how I translate this:

It’s easy to claim an identity. It’s hard to live it.

You can call yourself a Christian, but if you’re not actually doing what Jesus taught - if you’re not showing compassion, loving your enemies, helping the marginalized, sacrificing for others - then you’re just wearing a badge. And given all the terrible things done in Christianity’s name, that badge carries a lot of baggage.

The passage asks a crucial question: Do we take the easy part (grace, forgiveness, belonging) without doing the hard part (discipleship, sacrifice, actually living the principles)?

In secular terms: Do you claim values without living them?

It’s like saying you value family but never showing up. Saying you value learning but never doing the work to understand something deeply. Saying you care about justice but staying silent when it matters.

The “cross-carrying side” is the part where it costs you something. Where living your values makes you uncomfortable, unpopular, or requires real sacrifice. That’s the work. That’s what separates people who genuinely embody their principles from people who just like the identity.

This connects to November 1st about being your true self - but takes it further. It’s not enough to know who you want to be (your eulogy work). You have to actually be that person when it’s hard.

For Christians specifically: don’t just wear the label. Do the Jesus stuff. The hard Jesus stuff - loving enemies, serving others, standing up for the vulnerable. That’s what the name actually means.

For everyone: whatever values you claim, whatever identity you wear - you have to actually do the work. Otherwise it’s just performance.

This is where doing affirmations comes in. Affirmations aren’t just feel-good phrases - they’re the daily practice of reminding yourself who you want to be and what you value. They’re the repetition that turns claimed values into lived values. The work of writing them out, reconsidering them, letting them guide you when things get hard - that’s part of carrying the cross. It’s the discipline that bridges the gap between claiming an identity and actually living it.

Important distinction: This isn’t about perfectionism or beating yourself up for every failure to live up to your ideals. Nobody walks the talk 100% of the time. But there’s a difference between “I believe this and I’m genuinely trying, even when I fall short” versus “I claim this identity but I’m not actually doing the work.” The distinction is in the effort and honesty. Are you genuinely attempting to live your values and learning from failures? Or are you just enjoying the label without the substance? One is the human condition; the other is hypocrisy.

November 4th - Authenticity

To me this is really about: The age-old challenge: “Am I slacking off, or am I cutting myself slack?”

My favorite line from the passage: “There’s a difference between pretending to be who you’re not and disciplining yourself to be who you ought to be.”

Here’s how I translate this:

This devotional nails a confusion I’ve wrestled with constantly: When I’m not living up to my ideals, am I being too hard on myself (need to cut myself some slack) or too easy on myself (slacking off)?

It’s the hardest calibration question in personal growth. Go too far in either direction and you’re screwed:

Too hard on yourself (no slack): You judge every failure. Shame spirals. Eventually you give up or start pretending to be better than you are (hypocrisy). Self-judgment paralyzes growth.

Too easy on yourself (slacking off): You use “self-compassion” as an excuse to never try. “This is just who I am” becomes a shield against change. You stay comfortable but stuck (indulgence).

The passage identifies these as two false extremes:

1. Hypocrisy: Acting holy while harboring corruption within. Pretending to be who you’re not. All appearance, no substance. This is what happens when self-judgment makes you hide your struggles instead of addressing them.

2. Indulgence: Being so “authentic” to your impulses that you never grow. Using transparency as an excuse to stay stuck. This is what happens when self-compassion becomes an excuse for not doing the hard work.

The real path is neither extreme. It’s disciplining yourself to become who you ought to be while openly confessing the struggle.

This connects directly to getting to yes with yourself. The key insight there: When you judge yourself, you shut down and can’t find what you really want. Acceptance induces safety, and only from safety can you find what you really want.

Here’s how they work together:

• Self-judgment → “I’m a failure for having these thoughts” → Shame → Hide it → Hypocrisy
• Self-understanding → “I notice I’m struggling with this” → Safety → Address it → Growth

The devotional’s advice: “If you struggle with sinful thoughts, confess them openly to trustworthy people and let them help you through your struggles. But do not indulge those struggles in the name of avoiding hypocrisy.”

Secular translation: Be honest about your struggles without surrendering to them.

So how do you actually navigate “slacking off vs cutting yourself slack”?

The answer is compassionate consequences. When you don’t live up to your values, don’t judge yourself (that’s too hard on yourself) but don’t ignore it either (that’s slacking off). Instead: reflect.

When you break your rule or miss your goal, do a 6-minute reflection:

1. 2 minutes: What happened? (Curious, not judgmental)
2. 2 minutes: Why did I want to follow this rule in the first place?
3. 2 minutes: Was breaking it worth it?

This reflection helps you distinguish:

• Deliberately broke the rule? Did you make the right call? If yes, great! If no, think through what you’ll do differently next time.
• Mindlessly broke the rule? Next time, be mindful before acting. This reflection primes you to notice the choice point.

The key insight: You can’t tell if you’re slacking off or cutting yourself slack without reflection. Self-judgment skips the reflection and goes straight to shame. Self-indulgence skips the reflection and goes straight to excuses. Reflection is the middle path.

Tools that help:

This is where mortality software becomes valuable - a system to help you stay aligned with who you want to be without beating yourself up. The religious version provides structure (holiness as goal, church as accountability). You can build the secular equivalent:

1. Define who you want to be - Eulogy work
2. Daily reminders - Affirmations
3. Compassionate accountability - When you fall short, reflect instead of judge
4. Regular course-correction - Weekly/monthly reviews to stay calibrated

When I feel impatient with my kids but choose to respond calmly - that’s not hypocrisy. That’s discipline. I genuinely value being a patient father, even though my impulse is impatience. The struggle is real AND the value is real. Both are authentic.

But if I claimed to value patience while thinking “kids are annoying and I don’t care” - THAT would be hypocrisy.

The difference: Hypocrisy is pretending to hold values you don’t. Discipline is struggling to live values you genuinely hold.

November 5th - Authentic Worship

To me this is really about: Intention matters more than presentation.

The tastiest meal is the one made with love. It’s not about how it looks on the plate - it’s about whether you put your soul into it.

God detests superficial sacrifice but loves authentic prayer. In secular terms: going through the motions without heart is worse than not doing it at all. Whether it’s cooking, parenting, managing, or any craft - the difference between mediocre and meaningful is whether you actually care.

November 11th - Brotherly Devotion

To me this is really about: Building others up instead of seeking your own advancement.

My favorite line from the passage: “How devoted are you to the well-being of others? Do you blow wind in the sails of your brothers and sisters in Christ?”

Here’s how I translate this:

The secular version is straightforward: Are you actively helping others succeed, or are you primarily focused on your own success? Do you celebrate and support others’ wins, or only care about your own advancement?

This is grandmother mind - being generous with your time, wisdom, and support. Looking for ways to help others without keeping score. “Blowing wind in their sails” means actively looking for opportunities to build them up.

It also connects to my be a class act affirmation - being the kind of person who makes others feel valued, supported, and capable. When you write your eulogy, are you someone who built others up? That’s the kind of person worth being.

Important distinction: This isn’t about being selfless to the point of self-destruction or ignoring your own needs. It’s about shifting from a zero-sum mindset (their success threatens mine) to an abundance mindset (I can succeed AND help others succeed). Building others up doesn’t require tearing yourself down.

November 13th - A Prescription for Pain

To me this is really about: The choice to let fear thrive or to starve it - this too shall pass.

My favorite line from the passage: “When clouds gather, we get discouraged. It’s a natural reaction. Our eyes tell us to run for cover, to hang on for survival, or to prepare to die. And we believe our eyes. We put an awful lot of faith in what they tell us. We let their information sink into our hearts and thrive there—no matter how painful that is.”

Here’s how I translate this:

The passage says when you face difficulty, you have a choice: let the clouds obscure God, or let God obscure the clouds. In secular terms: let fear obscure perspective, or let perspective obscure fear.

When things look bad, your eyes (your immediate circumstances) tell you to panic. And we BELIEVE them. We let that discouragement “sink into our hearts and thrive there.” We feed it. We give it power. We choose to let it live in us, even though it’s painful.

This passage is my 4th affirmation - Calm Like Water: “Be present. This too shall pass. Work the problem.”

• Be present - Don’t catastrophize about the future
• This too shall pass - The clouds are temporary
• Work the problem - Focus on your circle of influence

1. Be Present/Work the problem

Stop wasting energy trying to control the clouds. Focus on your response to the clouds. What can you actually DO?

• Stop catastrophizing - What is the actual problem, not some fictitious future where everything goes wrong
• Take action - how do you maximize your influence
• Maintain your practices

2. If that fails, remember: This too shall pass

Sometimes you’ve maximized your influence and the clouds are STILL there. You’ve done everything you can and the pain persists. That’s when you fall back to acceptance and patience: this too shall pass.

You can’t make the clouds disappear, but you can remember they’re temporary. The affliction won’t last forever. This is patience - enduring what you can’t change while knowing it will eventually change.

This connects to mental pain: You can’t control pain (it happens TO you), but you can influence suffering (it happens IN you through the meaning you give it). Part 1 is about influencing suffering. Part 2 is about accepting the pain you can’t eliminate.

Important distinction: This isn’t toxic positivity or denying real hardship. The clouds are REAL. The pain is REAL. But you have agency over whether you let that reality consume your entire perspective. The prescription isn’t “pretend clouds don’t exist” - it’s “don’t let clouds become your entire sky.” Hope, patience, and faithful practice are how you maintain sight of the bigger picture while the storm passes.

November 16th - Asa’s Folly

To me this is really about: Where you turn first when you’re in trouble - your default resource.

My favorite line from the passage: ”Asa You twice made a foolish mistake. He You trusted something other than God your core values and principles.”

Here’s how I translate this:

King Asa had proven track record with God - he’d seen it work. But when trouble came, he defaulted to what felt more tangible: military alliances and doctors. He treated his values as a backup plan, not his foundation.

In secular terms: What do you actually turn to first when things get hard?

It’s easy to say you value certain principles - family, health, integrity, long-term thinking. But when pressure hits, what’s your actual first move?

• Do you claim to value family first but when work gets intense, you sacrifice family time before you sacrifice anything else?
• Do you say you value thoughtful decision-making but immediately jump to the quickest tactical fix when problems arise?
• Do you believe in seeking first to understand but default to defending your position when challenged?

The devotional warns against making God your “last resort” - only turning to prayer when medicine fails, only trusting divine protection when political alliances collapse. The secular version: Don’t treat your deepest values as gap-fillers around your real strategy.

This connects to begin with the end in mind - defining who you want to be through your eulogy, then actually living that way when it counts. It also connects to the essentialist position from October 22nd - regularly doing the soul-searching to figure out what actually matters, what’s your one thing that makes everything else easier or unnecessary.

Asa’s folly wasn’t that he used doctors or made alliances - those aren’t inherently wrong. His folly was that he went there first, relegating his core principles to backup status. He hadn’t done the essentialist work to clarify what truly mattered to him, or if he had, he abandoned it under pressure.

Important distinction: This isn’t about rejecting modern solutions or expertise. See doctors. Make strategic alliances. Use the tools available. But don’t let those tools become your foundation while your values become your afterthought.

The question isn’t whether you use secular solutions. It’s whether your values or your tactics are driving the bus.

November 19th - Anatomy of a Surrender: Idolatry

To me this is really about: Anything that conflicts with being at our best (our essentialist self).

My favorite line from the passage: “We like to call them character flaws or weaknesses of the flesh. In reality, they are idols… Whatever a man seeks, honors, or exalts more than God their eulogy, this is the god of idolatry.”

Here’s how I translate this:

We often excuse our bad habits as “little weaknesses” or “character flaws.” We treat them like minor accidents. But this passage offers a brutal reframe: they are idols. They are things we actively choose to value more than our highest ideals.

Idolatry isn’t just worshipping statues. It’s the act of prioritizing anything above your highest values (your “God” or your “Best Self”).

• When I give in to anger, I am worshipping my need to be right or my impulse to punish. I am exalting my immediate emotional release above my value of patience or connection.

• When I give in to addiction (even soft addictions like doomscrolling), I am worshipping comfort or distraction. I am exalting the dopamine hit above my value of presence and focus.

In economics, this is revealed preferences: what you do is what you value, regardless of what you say.

• Stated Preference: “I want to be a loving father” (The Light)
• Revealed Preference: “I am screaming because I’m frustrated” (The Idol of Anger)

When you choose the idol, you are making a “commitment to darkness.” You can’t optimize for your long-term essentialist goals while maintaining your “grip on darkness.”

Important distinction: This isn’t about shame. It’s about ownership. As long as you call it a “weakness,” you’re a victim. When you call it an “idol” (a revealed preference), you acknowledge it’s a choice. And if it’s a choice, you can choose differently.

November 20th - The Functional Utility of Bad Habits

Core insight: We do bad habits because they work (temporarily).

We often treat our bad habits and addictions as mysterious afflictions. Why do I keep doing this thing I hate?

Because we don’t trust the alternative.

We cling to coping mechanisms because they solve a problem for us. They meet a need.

• Stress? Alcohol works fast.
• Fear of chaos? Micromanaging works fast.
• Don’t want to think about what’s going on? Social media is a great distraction.

We suspect that if we give up these tools - if we do things the healthy way - our needs won’t be met. We’ll be left vulnerable, stressed, or unsafe.

The lie isn’t that the bad habit doesn’t work. The lie is that it’s the only thing that works, or that the cost is worth it.

Important distinction: Understanding the function of a behavior isn’t excusing it. It’s the prerequisite for changing it. You can’t just “stop” a behavior that’s solving a problem for you. You have to find a better way to solve that problem.

November 21st - The Pain of Letting Go

Core insight: The deeper a habit’s roots, the more painful the uprooting.

There comes a time when we’re finally ready to let go. We’ve seen through the illusion. We know our coping mechanism is hurting us more than helping. We’re ready to quit.

But here’s what we don’t expect: it will hurt.

These habits have grown roots in our hearts. The longer we’ve had them, the deeper those roots run. Uprooting them isn’t a gentle weed-pulling - it’s violent. It leaves a hole.

The painful cycle: We put the habit down, then pick it back up. Down and up, over and over. Each relapse adds to our guilt and deepens the difficulty.

Why we relapse: We romanticize what we’re giving up. We forget how much pain our “comfort” has caused us. We think we’ll miss it. We fear the emptiness it will leave behind.

The hard truth: Letting go of a deep habit requires a kind of death. The person who needed that coping mechanism has to die so a new person can emerge. That’s why it hurts. And that’s why it’s necessary.

December

---

For more context on my relationship with religion, see: